Even though my kids are a bit older, this time of social distancing is bringing back a lot of feelings I had when I was home with my children when they were small. In particular, the feeling that I “should” be doing more than I am. The world has been turned upside down, regular schedules have gone out of the window, anxieties are at a high, and everywhere I look I’m getting the message that I should be using this time at home to better all aspects of my life. I’m not buying it.
This feels very reminiscent of how I thought my life should look after having kids. I left my job to stay home when my first son was born and I pictured my days being filled with self reflection, catching up on reading, writing daily in my journal and sipping cups of tea while watching my baby sleep peacefully. My naiveté was of my own making, but was also based on messages I was receiving from the outside world.
And now those same messages are being spread around again. Telling you that you should be spending this time at home making color coded schedules for your children, organizing every room in your house, starting to work on that book you’ve been meaning to write. And if you can’t see that NOW is the time to meditate daily, are you even trying at life?
Let me be clear that I am a person who reads a lot of self-help books, I listen to podcasts that help me make my life and relationships better, I read articles on parenting, and I fully believe in taking steps throughout your life to become the best, most authentic version of yourself. But I also believe that there is a season for everything, and beating yourself up for not using a pandemic as the time to turn yourself into a crafting, decorating, meditating, bullet journal using, I-really-should-get-started-on-all-those-dreams-I-have person, well, that’s ok.
Have you found a moment in your day to take a walk outside, acknowledge your feelings, breathe, give yourself grace for having an internal temper tantrum over crisis schooling, take a nap, successfully run an online meeting, feed and care for your children (or in my case turn a blind eye to the never-ending grazing) or say hey to your spouse as they crawl back up from the makeshift work desk in the basement? Congratulations, you are winning at life right now.
These are unpredictable and scary times so don’t use your energy toward making yourself feel guilty over what you are not doing. In a world of advice coming at you from every angle take what works for you and leave what doesn’t. But might I suggest, you really should go grab that nap.
