It’s the question asked on a daily basis. My daughter turned one last year and since then it’s the burning question on everyone’s mind. If it’s not family or friends asking, it’s the checkout lady at Target.
“When are you going to have a second?”
I cringe every time I hear this question and immediately want to escape. I have lost track of how many times I have been asked in the past year. My answer may change depending on my mood and on my toddler’s temperament.
These thoughts trickle through my head each time I am asked about another baby:
- How will my pregnancy be?
- Will I have morning sickness again?
- How will this change our lives?
- Can we juggle two?
- Are we ready for little to no sleep?
- How will this change my body? (I know vain but true thought)
- Will recovery go smoothly?
- What will this labor be like? Similar to the last?
- Can we afford two in daycare?
- How will my toddler handle this change? Will she accept the change?
- Are we ready yet?
I’m not overly sure I’m ready just yet… My baby grew up before I could blink. We have it easy… well, as easy as parenting can be. She FINALLY sleeps through the night… only took a year. We outnumber her, she is able to ask for what she wants or helps herself, and she still takes a nap every day most days.
If I was guaranteed a clone of how she was as a baby then game on! She taught me how to breastfeed, latching on as soon as we snuggled, even tempered (except for the new terrible 2 phase we are experiencing) as well as an easy traveler with road trips and being my sidekick for a long run.
So my response to this question is… TIME WILL TELL. My advice is back down from asking this question to friends, family or strangers. It can be a difficult question for those who may be trying and for those who are unsure. Having a child is an amazing journey that does not need to be rushed!
How often are you asked this question? How do you respond?
Oh, I’m with you wishing people would stop asking questions like these!! I don’t see how people don’t realize how rude and invasive it can be. I’ve heard from so many women how hurtful it is when they are suffering from infertility and people keep asking when they are going to have a baby, or have another one. 🙁 Or from women who CHOOSE to only have one (or none), how awful it feels when it seems like everyone around them is pressuring them to do differently, even complete strangers!
I’m at the other end, having eight kids, but I have the same problem anyway. For years I’d cringe every time someone would ask if were having another, because I knew how they were going to react when I said yes, or even maybe. Now that we’re finished, I kind of find it just as upsetting when people are happy or relieved that we are done. What business is it of theirs? I didn’t ask them for help. And what’s so awful about my kids that perfect strangers feel it’s ok to express relief that there won’t be any more of them??