Be Nice. Be Different. Be You.
I was just saying this to my husband recently as I’ve noticed our daughter Lydia is becoming more particular and vocalizing things that are not in “our” ordinary. I try really hard to teach our children that we as humans are all different and that’s what makes us unique and special within our individuality, and now more than ever it’s very important to stay true to yourself.
My children are at the tender age of three and five. I am hopeful to instill as much confidence in them as possible to create a positive mindset so that they can productively cope with the not-so-nice people they will encounter while away from the walls of our home and our loving family and friends. This world has drastically changed, even in the last five years since the birth of my first child. What age do we start preparing our children to handle the “mean people” when they are out in the real world away from us? I recently took my children to a Paw Patrol live event, afterward we walked State Street and visited a few of my favorite stores. People and passers-by don’t converse with others as they did before, not a smile, not a hello, not even to young giggly children in an ice cream shop or a toy store?
I can only hope and pray that my children are “overly” prepared for these unpleasant moments, so when they do go out into the real world on their own, they too will know that they are different to others, not just visibly or by appearance, but their personalities, their preferences, their beliefs and that sometimes people just simply are not going to “like” you or be kind to you for no other reason simply than their own. I also want them to know that this is “normal” and that life (as they say and will hear a million times throughout their lifetime) is not fair.
I remember being a bright eyed, bubbly kid, I got along with all my cousins and the neighborhood kids, sure we had disagreements but we were over it in minutes. My parents both had many siblings growing up and me as an only child in a much “different” world, they did not prepare me for “mean people”, nor should they have. I quickly realized the judgments of other children, kids can be terribly mean and in my teens I was completely scrutinized for everything from facial features to my hair, quickly shattering my image of self worth. I believe now that’s why I am extremely sensitive to people’s needs and wants over my own. It’s a trait that I don’t want my children to inherit and if I can prepare them to love and respect themselves now I will certainly do my best, because I have wasted a lot of time in my life being a people pleaser and sacrificing my own happiness and beliefs.
I know that no matter how hard I have tried, my children will not be innocent, they will hurt someone’s feelings they will meet people that they are not particularly fond of, but they will know that because they are not fond of someone doesn’t mean someone else should not be also.
Most importantly in life, they will also admire qualities in people they meet and create friendships that last years if not forever, I believe each person comes into your life (and sometimes out) as stepping stones to help you learn from them, but no matter what in this life, never change yourself to be more desirable to someone else.
If I have taught my children anything in life I hope that at least I have taught them to Be Kind. Be Different. Be YOU.
YOU are enough.
