Maybe a month ago, my husband and I were watching a Jim Gaffigan clip where he talks about bedtime with his five kids. He hilariously describes bedtime as a “crisis” and “hostage negotiation but in reverse”. If you haven’t seen it, you should definitely watch it here (start around 5:15). It was easy for me to relate to and got me thinking about bedtime in our house. The kids’ bedtime can either be bliss or it can be a total bummer, depending on their mood. I cherish those two beautiful hours (who am I kidding… it’s usually three or more hours because I have little self-control to make myself sleep when I have alone time) I get each night, to myself, after my girls are in bed. But bedtime can make or break my day.
I have twins who are almost four. (We are ALMOST done with the threenager stage… someone please tell me it gets better!) From the time they were little, I read different sleep habit books in an attempt to get their bedtime and their sleeping under control. We created a routine, we made the room conditions just right, and we sleep trained them once we felt they were old enough. Although I feel that we, for the most part, have kids that are good sleepers, bedtime can still be a disaster in our house. We have really good weeks, and then out of nowhere, bedtime turns into a “crisis” situation that leaves me feeling both physically and emotionally exhausted.
In our house, we’ve heard it all…
“I have to pee again.”
“I need more water.”
“I want my door half open.”
“I want my door open ALL the way.”
“Shut my closet door.”
“No, open my closet door and turn the light on.”
“I want my night light on.”
“Wait, I want every light in my room on.” (Me: How can you POSSIBLY sleep?! NO.)
“Fine, I want the hall light on.”
“ I can’t find my (any of 100 stuffed animals she sleeps with).”
“What if real animals come into my room while I’m sleeping?”
“I’m scared.”
“I want to sleep with you.”
“I’m not tired.”
We’ve had those minor issues on the easier end of the bedtime spectrum and we’ve had the full out screaming/crying, getting out of bed, and refusing to go to bed. There isn’t anything that we change or do to illicit the hysterical bedtime refusal, it just happens. And just like it comes, it goes away and they are back to the bedtime angels they were a month ago. Unfortunately, this post doesn’t have answers if you are going through the same thing. I wish I had something for you that was a sure winner. We’ve tried bribing with rewards like sticker charts, treats, etc. We’ve done the “put them back in their bed 100 times until they stay” method. We’ve tried taking things away. I feel like we’ve tried it all.
I like to think that we’ve been consistent with them and loving (despite extreme exhaustion and frustration), but regardless, bedtime can still be a struggle in our house. This post is my way of saying that I’m with you. I feel you. Cheers to those of you who are in the successful, smooth bedtime phase and you get your few hours to kick your legs up and relax OR cheers to those of you in the bedtime nightmare phase and a few sips of wine with your exhaustion and tears is all you get before you have to go to bed yourself. I live both on a regular basis.
Parenting isn’t easy, but like most things that aren’t easy, they are worth it. It always helps to know that there are people who get you and feel what you are feeling. We’re in this together, bedtime and all!
