Bringing Sexy Back

I know. I know! Sexy isn’t a thing that I am supposed to say! I’m not supposed to say that my abdomen isn’t as flat as it used to be, that my inner thighs may touch when I walk, stand and sit, but for some odd reason while shopping my size is often sold out?

Hmm.. strange?

While expecting Our first child four years ago, there was no staying away from hearing that Kim Kardashian and Kate Middleton  were “also” expecting their first child (unless you lived in a cave).

Seriously though? Are these celebrity pregnancies not plastered everywhere? Even my grandmother talked of Kim and Kate like they lived down the street! Well… Kate is having morning sickness, or Kim said she is starting to feel uncomfortable, really?  

Naturally, with the exciting news of expecting Our first baby after a long, long wait, I cared more about Our exciting news than I did any celebrity’s!  

Then again almost two years later after confirmation of Our second pregnancy, I turn on the television to my surprise (again)  Kim and Kate were also expecting their second babies! (eye roll).  

And…

Just in case you haven’t heard,  they both just entered their third child into the world! Honestly from one mother to another, of course, I am beyond thrilled for them, but seriously ladies?

I can’t keep up!

It wasn’t until after all of these precious bundles were born that I found myself, a new mama, exhausted, awake at wee hours of the night for the 2nd, 3rd or 4th time, watching these Hollywood digitally-manipulated celebrity stories who have recently given birth and are already fitting in to their prebaby jeans that I started to feel horrible about myself.

It is common knowledge that a woman’s body goes through a tremendous change during pregnancy, but what’s less talked about is how our body looks after giving birth. I feel that there is “relentless pressure” on women to go back to their pre-baby weight quickly after welcoming a child, so it’s no wonder many new mothers are unprepared for the reality of how they will look causing women “as myself” to have less than an ideal body image.

But who cares? Why do I care? Why am I even thinking of comparing myself to digitally-manipulated images on social media or television celebrities? I am proud that I made, nurtured and housed humans! Girl power, love, and motherhood are what I am truly proud of, these are the truths that we are to believe in! Not all this who bounced back body hype! I’ll get there. My desire for “getting my body back” was never about looking 25 again. I am not trying to turn back time or erase the existence of the parts of myself that I’ve grown into over the years although,  I would like to have a significant amount of energy again!

Just a little bit.

Every day. 

For the last four years, I’ve given my body away in a really beautiful and substantial way. I was pregnant twice in under 2 years. I nursed and rocked babies. And now two years since my last pregnancy, I still give my body away  ALL day every day. I carry toddlers, backpacks, toys, and strollers, I give piggyback rides and lift from swings, car seats, and chairs. I bend over a million times a day to pick up socks, toys, crayons. I wipe noses and dry tears with my hands, and as I’m writing this my two-year-old is pressed up against me and every time I shift my body he grabs my shirt with his chubby little hand and toddler mumbles, “where go, Mama?” 

After two children, I realized that I have been transformed twice, and each time I have appreciated more and more what a blessing and miracle it is to create life. Also, the mental and spiritual growth is priceless and can only be attributed to becoming a mother. Being a mother is far superior to any body flaw, weight gain, stretch mark, or anything superficial. Being a mother makes me feel so strong, powerful, beautiful, and most importantly, BLESSED. 

This isn’t just about my body. We all know that, right? For all intents and purposes, my body is like, you know, pretty good. It absolutely does all the things it’s supposed to, and for that, I am unendingly grateful. This is about my entire self, about all the parts of me. The parts that existed before my little people filled my arms and my heart, and the parts that will continue to exist long after those people have fully grown.

I understandably lost myself for a while. I’m amazed at the connection between the mind and the body. How just a small change in physical activity can facilitate a vast shift in my perspective. I am returning to something that I loved and set aside daily for no other reason than that I love this life, this is the life that I dreamt of, being a wife and mother. It’s knowing that I’m capable of caring for myself better and care for my family more fully because,  I also Love,

  Me.