Whoa. Am I ready for spring! This was a rough winter.
No, wait, let me try that again.
Looking back, this was the crappiest winter of my life. There. That’s much more accurate.
I spent November and December in a walking cast, healing a stress fracture in my foot. Then, finally feeling better, one Sunday after a big snowfall I announced, “I love to shovel!” and promptly threw out my back. I spent days in bed, in so much pain I was unable to move. Once I was finally able get up, I could barely lift a jug of milk.
Everything in my life jolted to a stop this winter. As a work-at-home-mom with a two-year-old son, I could no longer do what I usually did. I felt trapped. I was depressed. I was a total mess.
But as I started to heal from my injuries, I realized something: This winter wasn’t all bad. In the middle of the crappiness, some good things happened.
I learned to accept help (without feeling too guilty).
It’s hard for me to ask for help, whether it’s asking my husband to fill my water bottle or seeing if a neighbor will watch my kid for a few hours. But laid out in bed with my back spasming in excruciating pain and whacked-out on muscle relaxers, I couldn’t do anything. Anything! Not so much as roll over.
So when my out-of-town mom offered to help, I said yes. Instead of saying I’d think about it, I actually said yes. Neighbors asked to lend a hand and I said yes. If a stranger had offered help, I’d have hugged them and handed them the keys to the car and a shopping list.
At first, I felt really uncomfortable–helpless and dependent. But I soon realized that accepting the support was the right thing to do, the healthy thing to do, in fact. Saying yes to help is simply using your resources. And most of the time, the people offering really do want to help.
My husband stepped up his game.
I like things done my way. Between that charming trait and the fact that I’m the primary caregiver for our son, I often take the lead at home. I know where the spare toilet paper is, can decipher the kiddo’s most undecipherable cries, and handle our loads and loads of laundry.
Suddenly, I couldn’t play the role of house manager. My husband tried to jump in, which caused some friction at first. But once I stepped back (metaphorically, of course), he was able to keep our lives on track and prevent the laundry from getting too backed up.
I got creative in my parenting.
When I couldn’t use my foot or my back, I had to use my brain. How to get a 32-pound toddler out of the crib? A step stool in the crib and a chair on the other side made it easy for him to climb out. And perhaps overdue, my son finally learned how to get in and out of his carseat on his own.
I also had to rely a lot more on using language with my toddler. I couldn’t just pick him up and carry him to the car if it was time to go. I needed other tactics. Sometimes, I resorted to good old fashioned bribery, but often what unfolded was a respectful exchange that just required a bit more patience on my part.
I saw that I am resilient. (And I believe you are too.)
Winter’s over and I am happy to say that I am continuing to heal well. Finally! I’m grateful for my recovery, for everyone who helped me along the way, and for the lessons I’ve learned during this hard winter.
For me the biggest takeaway is this: Whatever life throws at me, I can and will figure it out. It might be difficult, uncomfortable, and last longer than I can stand, but I’ll get there. And I was reminded that even my parenting and my family can adapt to these new challenges too.
I am guessing that’s what’s in all of us: resilience. If you had a crappy winter, I hope you are bouncing back, stronger for it, and enjoying spring, glorious spring!
