Bumper Cars

Hustling. Running the rat race. Getting our life together. Having it all. Work life balance.

We are all doing it. Or rather, we are all trying to do it. 

And it’s complete crap.

I think the biggest fallacy of adulthood is the idea that it is a destination. It just isn’t. You never “arrive” to a point in your life where you feel like you have it all together, you are perfectly satisfied and happy with everything exactly the way it is, and it never changes from that way forward.

It would freaking rock if that was the case, I would LOVE to wake up tomorrow and live out the rest of my days in a perfectly organized house where my weekly cleaning schedule was always implemented on time, meal plans were always followed, and things always followed a predictable routine.

Cue real life. 

Instead of the well-oiled machine most of us think life should be, it’s actually more like a bumper car ring at the fair. When you enter that ring and climb into the glittery car of your choice you envision yourself speeding in circles around the center pole, easily dodging crashes that ensnare other drivers (who aren’t as much of a natural as you are, obvs) with your lightening quick reflexes.

Despite those intentions your experience typically goes more like this: you don’t remember how to drive these cars because it’s been so long since you tried. The car you choose, while being a beautiful, sparkly purple, smells like vomit, has glitchy steering, and the functions of the pedals are reversed (when they work at all). Your attempts to get on track result in being pounded from every side by cars you didn’t even see coming, snapping your head every which way and making you super nervous about your crappy health insurance (I can NOT afford whiplash right now!!!). Although the tent is supposed to be round, you manage to get stuck head first in the only corner and waste most of your time slamming from wall to wall in a vain attempt at dislodging your vehicle. 

In life, just like those significantly-less-fun-than-you-remember bumper cars, things rarely go the way you think they are going to. Let’s face it, your machine is never going to be that well oiled. Neither is mine, tbh. Something is always going to come up last minute no matter how great you are at planning, and part of this “adulting” thing is having to deal with that. We need to roll with the punches and just keep swimming regardless of what life throws our way. Make lemonade (I prefer margaritas, but whatever). 

As kids we all had ideas about how being a grown up was going to go and only a precious few of those ideas became reality, but I am going to let you in on a secret: this is true for everyone. 

That mom at playgroup who has perfect looking hair, makeup, clothes AND well-behaved kids? She is fighting the good fight just like you are, Mrs. Sweatpants. Everybody has their own battles. Some hide it better than others but we all must deal with it.

So embrace the suck. Push down that glitchy gas/brake pedal and slam into some barriers. Don’t be intimidated by other people, be friendly. Don’t give up. This whole adulthood thing might seem like the most lame carnival ever, but there are some pretty incredible things waiting for you if you just cut yourself and everyone around you some slack.

(And make sure you have health insurance, that whiplash will mess.you.up.)