I admit it, I don’t like guns. They scare me. But at the same time, I will freely admit that I am woefully ignorant about gun safety and gun ownership.
Well, not too long ago I was in the car listening to NPR (because I’m ????????), and I heard that 1 in 3 Americans own a gun. This completely blew me away. I mean, I knew there was a high rate of gun ownership in the USA, but I didn’t realize it was quite so high. As the day went on, I wasn’t able to get this statistic out of my head. I just kept thinking, “I wonder how many people I know own guns?” and “I wonder how they secure these guns, because I would hate to have something happen to my kids if they were ever at someone else’s house and accidentally found a gun.”
But what are you supposed to do about this?
My initial instinct was to say that maybe my kids shouldn’t be allowed to have playdates with other kids whose parents have guns at their house. But then what about the responsible gun owners? The ones who take gun ownership seriously and go the extra mile to make sure that their firearms are properly secured. But how do you “properly secure” a firearm? I didn’t know the answer to this.
In this case, ignorance is not bliss
So, I decided I would educate myself about standards of practice for gun safety and gun storage laws. And just as I expected, the first link that popped up when I searched for “How to safely store a gun” was from the NRA. Call me biased, but I’m not okay with getting my safety advice from a group that openly advocates for less gun laws.
Why do I have to go to page 2 to find quality sources??
After scrolling to page 2 of my search results, I found a few resources that seemed both reputable and provided some good information. The first one comes from former Representative Gabby Giffords’ site and provides a great legal overview of national and state laws surrounding gun safety and storage. The second is from the Seattle Children’s Hospital and provides a great resource for how to best store firearms in the house. They also provide a great resource PDF that summarizes most of the pertinent info from their site. And the last site I found comes from the Government Accountability Office and provides great visual examples of what a lot of the locks and storage devices looked like. I had no idea what was meant by locks, and this provided clear information.
The sites also also stressed, in various ways, how improper storage of guns leads to an increase in suicide attempts, accidental shootings, and theft of the gun itself; none of which is comforting to hear. Essentially, most of my fears of having a gun in the house were confirmed by these sites. If the guns are not properly stored, the risk of catastrophic accidents go significantly up to everyone who live in, and visit, the house.
Safety First
So even though I hate confrontation, it became clear to me that I should really start asking other parents if they own guns, and if they do, how they secure them. My children’s safety is more important to me than the awkwardness that may result from asking about firearms. The only problem, how do I do this without offending anyone? If only there was a way I could practice what I might say in a safe, judgment-free setting.
Is it luck, or just statistics??
It turns out that I actually do know someone who owns a gun. What follows is my actual conversation with Kyla, another MMB writer, regarding how they secure their firearms in their household:
Dan: Knowing how curious Joe can be, I hope you don’t mind me asking if you have a shotgun, rifle, or a handgun in your home?
Kyla: We own all of the above.
Dan: If you don’t mind me asking, how do you secure your guns?
Kyla: The guns are each stored within their locked box/case and ammo is stored in a separate area of the home away from the guns.
Dan: So if I understand correctly, all of the guns are not loaded?
Kyla: That’s right. Guns are stored unloaded without any ammo in or near them. Our handgun is for home protection and has a separate heavy duty safe in which ammo is with the gun in case of an emergency or intrusion, but the gun is not loaded and the safe is extreme. lt’s secure (I don’t even know how to get into it).
Dan: Ok. Thanks for that info. Do you ever worry that somehow one of your kids may accidentally get access to your guns?
Kyla: I have never once thought that our extremely curious and mischievous boys would ever even access any of the guns- not because they are stored correctly (that’s a given) but simply because they are toddlers who don’t wander the house willy nilly without supervision! ???? They have a playroom and when they’re out of the playroom they’re in eyesight, again not because of guns, but because toddlers are crazy and will stick their toothbrush in the toilet water within 2.5 seconds of no supervision.
To clarify on my earlier statement on me not accessing the guns- none of the guns belong to me, and I’ve only shot a gun (rifle) once while shooting clays, and it’s not something I’m personally comfortable with and my husband knows that I am not capable of handling a gun. He enjoys guns as a hobby and has his conceal carry permit.
Dan: Sure, I totally get that! So my last question, and it’s kind of generic and may really apply more for when our kids are older and need less supervision… What advice would you give someone, like me, who is very uneasy about being in the same house as a gun? And to further that thought, about letting my kids come over and play?
Kyla: This is my favorite question! My advice would be to judge a parents character and get to know someone before sending your kid on a playdate. I hear, and have even said, that I would never let my kid go somewhere with guns- but the reality is, whether you know it or not, many parents do own guns. And if you know their character you can reasonably assume that they have stored their guns correctly. The unfortunate truth is that there are many other dangers besides guns that we all have in our homes- bleach, stairs, drugs- it all comes down to a person’s character and knowing that they are responsible adults. With teens I do think that it is more complicated, but with toddlers and smaller children it’s pretty straightforward that they will always be supervised.
My hope with our boys when they are teens- that they will have taken hunter safety and have a deep profound respect and understanding for the power of guns and know that it is never something to mishandle or show off or let a friend near or to touch. We intend to communicate openly with our kids on that and also be sure that they understand how to store a gun and keep it safely and also understand today’s complicated mental health issues. Even with that communication happening we will still store the guns away from the children where they will not have access to them.
Dan: Thanks again for taking the time to chat with me about this.
Kyla: No problem!
I still don’t like it, but…
On the one hand, I’m still very openly against guns. I don’t think I’ll ever understand the desire to own a gun outside of recreational hunting. But on the other hand, I see what Kyla is saying as well. We should always judge people on a case by case basis with regards to our children’s safety. If they have taken the proper steps to secure their firearms, and we trust who they are as parents, I think I can be okay with my child having a playdate at their house. The biggest thing I think I will take away from this whole mental exercise is that we shouldn’t be afraid to talk to each other about this topic. I think most gun owners would be happy to talk about this with non-gun owners. And I think the more we can all be educated about this topic, the better we all will be in the end.
