Rushing. Busyness. Whatever you want to call it. It happens especially during this time of year, but honestly, I think that in this day and age, it’s all year round, right? And as parents, we’re constantly pulled between family, work, extracurricular activities, play dates, and our general to-do lists. It’s tough to get around, there’s so much to do and it is hard to say “no.” So many things that we’re committed to are important (or at least seem so) to us. Plus, we are doing our best to take care of our families, ourselves, and to maybe even serve others in some capacity. With so much going on, we can lose our direction, feel constantly stressed, and even lose our sense of gratitude!
I usually like to pack my schedule with things that are good…well I think that all of them are good! I enjoy play dates, moms groups, church activities, workout classes, and there’s preschool pick-up/drop-off, housework, etc.! Sometimes, though, I find that if I plan something in the morning and the afternoon, I am just rushing my kids. And then we’re constantly hurried, which makes us all a bit crabby, impatient, and easily upset with each other.
Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing inherently wrong with being “busy.” I myself keep busy – it’s the way that I’m wired! Some people aren’t wired that way, which is perfectly fine (honestly, I feel like I could learn a thing or two from you all)! Sometimes being busy causes us a different kind of rush, even an adrenaline rush! Doing work and being with others is a part of everyday life! However, once it gets to the point that you can’t see the forest through the trees, it may be a good idea to re-evaluate. I’m not great at this and will be the first to admit that it’s rather easy for me. That’s ok, and I think it’s great to just realize where you may struggle! For instance, do you ever get to the place where you start to forget the wonder around you, or you find that you just don’t appreciate things the way that you used to? Do you forget the “why,” or driving force of what you set out to do? Or maybe, do you start feeling ungrateful and maybe realize that you fail to notice what others see?
In my line of work, I have the privilege of re-connecting with others that I haven’t seen in awhile. I had a recent conversation with a high school classmate who is about to leave to study and teach abroad. I was like, “Man I’m jealous!” And she said to me, “I don’t know why, you have a beautiful family and are married with kids. That’s where I was hoping to be at this stage in my life!!” It was the epiphany that I needed. I’m not preaching at you or trying to make anyone feel bad (that’s the last thing this world needs), but maybe we shouldn’t be the last ones to recognize what we have!!
So, what do we really miss when we’re rushing around?
Currently, I’ve been reading a book called One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp. I’ve loved it because for me, it has reminded me to pause, to take some time to just “be,” and to see the little things in life that you may miss by running around like a chicken with your head cut off (which is honestly my usual state with a two and a three year old, and I’m sure you can relate)!
In her book, Voskamp quotes G.K. Chesterton, who says, “Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I’ve ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing….Through all that haste, I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away.”[1]
So, what would life be like if I lived fully, to slow down enough to be “all there,” to stop rushing and constantly hurrying? What if when I’m playing with my kids, I take time to really notice them? To really engage in what they’re doing, instead of thinking of the next thing that I have to do. I’m not sure about you, but with this holiday season, I’m committing myself to soaking it in – the life that I have. The health that we have. The light of my little babes’ eyes when they see Christmas lights for the first time this year, or to just notice the beautiful faces of my friends and family around me while we spend cherished moments together laughing, eating, and just being together.
Ok, so what about those dreaded grocery store runs or trips to Target when being “all there,” simply means not losing your, ah…“stuff,” while making it at least half way through the list that your two year old chewed on and then threw on the ground? Then your three year old decides to wander into the next aisle while you’re picking up your list. You call for him, and he doesn’t answer, so you go around to the next aisle and realize that he was in the other aisle you could have picked. You may also have a coffee stain on your shirt. Yeah, I don’t have any answers for you there. 😉
My hope, though, is that this attitude of gratitude would extend far beyond this year, beyond New Year’s resolutions. I want to pare down, or to even just clear my mind a bit, so that I can fully enjoy the life and its blessings that I currently have. The solution? I really don’t know that I’ve arrived here yet – so I welcome your suggestions. I have already noticed that scheduling fewer commitments is just better for me. That means that we can take our time getting out of the house, and we may quickly text a friend to join us if they’re free! It’s easier than having to be somewhere all the time! I’m also going to work towards paring down my schedule (so that may mean saying “no” to things that are even “good” ideas, but you just can’t do it all, right?!), and to maybe not do everything perfectly. Wow, I said it.
For me, that may mean spending less time on things that are optional – like a complete to-do list, like pushing harder for that next goal. Maybe it can wait or doesn’t need to happen today, this month, or this year. Maybe life doesn’t have to be so complicated. Things can get done and we can be intentional, but I for one don’t want to miss it by rushing around and hurrying life.
[1] G.K. Chesterton, quoted in Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2010), 65.
