To the Families of Summer

Melting snow and glimpses of warmer weather — hooray! — especially for young parents starting to think about summer (I mean, living in cold, cold weather – we gotta have something to look forward to when we haven’t seen the sun for weeks). I can remember being overwhelmed when my children were in elementary school when we’d start to get flyers and catalogs for summer programming. And then the questions: “What are YOUR kids doing this summer?” and “Which week are you sending your child to [insert camp program here]?” I felt the pressure to make sure they were involved and in the ‘right’ programs so they could eventually become professional athletes and musical virtuosi (Kidding!).

When we moved to Madison it seemed every family we met joined a pool in the summer. One was just opening a few minutes from our home the first summer we lived here so it seemed like the thing to do! And, it was perfect. I loved it, the kids loved it, life was good. The kids had swim lessons every day, my 1-year-old could toddle around the zero-depth end, and I was able to connect with some moms who were all in the same stage of life.

A perfect summer day for my three kids was to go to swim lessons in the morning, come home and play in the neighborhood, perhaps run a few errands, hit the library, pack lunches, and head back to the pool mid-day where we would eat our picnic lunch, and be one of the first to enter the pool when it opened for the day. I could even get our youngest to nap in the stroller under the cool of the canopy area (don’t judge me). We’d head home for dinner and hook up with dear old dad, and if it was really a great day we’d head back to the pool and close it down with many of the friends we’d met through our pool (and probably spent the afternoon with). My children thought it was just the best if they could make it until the lifeguards (who they ADORED) kicked them out of the pool, hit the showers, and put on their jammies before heading home.

We kicked it up a notch our third year at the pool and our oldest two children joined the swim team. Disclaimer: my husband and I don’t know one thing about swimming. This was a whole new world to us. We didn’t know what to expect. There was this whole new language; we knew nothing – which turned out to be perfect because all we could do was stand to the side and cheer on our kids. It allowed them to learn from their coaches (no parental suggestions). They fostered an independence that was wonderful. They made friends with the people in their lanes at practice, and on their relays at meets. We celebrated each small victory (“Hooray! You didn’t get disqualified!” or “Woohoo! You were one tenth of a second faster than you were last week”). And, we got to spend Saturday mornings with some wonderful families. I mean, top-notch moms and dads.

Our swim team was small, so we were able to get to know families on the team pretty well. And, we all loved it. Our kids were the same ages (age 8 and under), same skill levels (just starting out), and all just happy to have our kids doing something they enjoyed while we sipped coffee and cheered on one another’s little swimmers at our Saturday morning meets.

My children have been involved with a number of activities over the past decade. They have tried things that they loved, and some they did not; but the one thing that all three of the kids have done every single year for the past 13 summers is be part of the swim team. There are not too many activities that I can say all three of our children have done for more than 10 years. Our oldest two children did both swim on their high school teams. One of them is going to swim in college. Our youngest has only been a ‘summer swimmer’ and does not swim in high school. None of them are going to the Olympic trials

Each gained so much through being part of our little summer swim team. They are not afraid of getting up early and jumping in a cold outdoor pool. They understand hard work. I don’t worry if they get invited to someone’s lake house because I know they’re strong swimmers. They learned to love being part of a team. They made AMAZING friends. We made wonderful family friends. My children have other adults in their life they know that love them, cheer for them (in and out of the pool), and are invested in their lives.

Three happy swimmers at a Saturday morning meet, circa 2006

There is nothing else that has been part of our lives for 15 years.

I run a new parent tutorial each summer for our swim & dive team. I always tell people who are new to the team that the families I’ve met through it are a very special part of our family’s life. I don’t know if it was the age the kids were when we joined the pool or that these families have been part of my children’s lives since they were in preschool/kindergarten or a combination of the two.

My older two children got their first jobs at our pool (snack shack, lifeguard, dive coach). And, our youngest is going to work the front desk at the pool this summer. This pool and the swim team are in the fabric of our lives. And so are these families who I’ve spent Saturday mornings with for more Saturdays than I can count. I’ve loved every minute of it.

Perhaps joining a pool and/or summer swim team will fill your bucket (no pun intended). And, if the water is not calling your name — I hope you find something where you can meet “your people.” People who are willing to watch your children when you run to the bathroom and buy them a donut because they know you would do the same for their kiddos.

Here’s to the families of summer that help us parent our kiddos — come snow or come shine!