I keep asking myself this question, as I’m sure all of you have at some point. So many questions really. Where did the time go? Will it always move this fast and this slow? Does my mom feel the same way about me? And my grandma too? How in the world did they deal with the sheer joy and the utter sadness at the same time? How does any mother do this? Why hasn’t anyone figured out how to bottle up every second, every giggle, every smell, so that when you’re grown, I can take it all out and relive the snuggles and smile knowing this was the sweetest time in my life? The list of perplexing questions goes on and I digress.
1 yr olds aren’t babies anymore. They’re toddlers. Ooffda, right? Then they’re practically teenagers after that. Remember when we’d pull all-nighters when you first came into the world? They took a little getting used to, as we were all figuring things out, but now we’re all here. We made it and you’re turning one. I have your baby books half-filled and one of these days, I promise to finish them, but I just thought I’d have more time and I’d remember every little thing. This year has been a beautiful blur, so how could I be so naive to think my memory would serve me after full-blown, double-trouble mommy brain?
Oh well. I did take notes though. I even managed to take a picture a day, even as I was rushing out the door to work, or getting home late from a long day. You’re the most glorious creatures my world has ever known. Capturing your true essence is next to impossible in photos, but I try anyway. I hope it’s all enough to paint you a picture of when we were all young and how you both changed our lives in the most amazing ways!
A good friend asked me to describe this first year of motherhood in 5 words, I’ve been racking my brain ever since…but here’s my attempt at it:
- Precious – every fleeting moment, every wrinkle of their nose, it’s all just so cherished and precious to me.
- Crazy – no sleep, hormones, enough to make anyone lose it.
- Raw – you’re feeling all the feels for an extended period of time and you realize your life is no longer your own, so it leaves you vulnerable (not in a bad way) and open to all the possibilities ahead.
- Beautiful – it’s incredible how humans come into the world, how sweet the first cry and smile are, they unlock a beauty is never known existed before
- Impressive – this is even more apparent as my twins turn one. I’m so impressed with them growing and learning so much every second, but also I’m impressed with my husband and I for creating and sustaining these tiny humans.
So, on the eve of your birthday, I want to thank each of you, my beautiful twin  babies, for making my life (our lives) immeasurably more rich, more entertaining and more love-filled than I ever imagined. Thank you for being you and making me my true self this year.
