1. Your entire schedule is mapped out based on distances between toilets.
2. You say the words “I’m so proud you did poo in the potty” with the same enthusiasm things like “I just won the lottery”, ” I just got accepted into Juilliard” and “I’m engaged and look at the size of my rock” are said.
3. You set a new world record when sprinting through Target, holding your toddler out in front of you like a stick of dynamite yelling “We WILL make it to the potty in time”.
4. Everything you say to your child is followed by the sentence “Do you need to go potty?” “I love you honey, do you need to go potty?” “Eat your carrots, do you need to go potty?”
5. Beltline (or any HWY for that matter) traffic takes on a whole new form of terror.
6. You wonder if there is a program you can send your child to called “no child left un-trained”?
7. You carry with you more changes of clothes in your bag than when they were a newborn.
8. You realize you are not above bribery.
9. You finally “get” plastic covered couches.
10. You start buying toilet paper in bulk, if you weren’t already.
Thankfully I think I’ve almost earned my potty training badge! Best of luck to all of my fellow PTMs!