Last month our sister site, New Orleans Moms Blog, published a post entitled: Mind Your Own Business: The Day A Stranger Disciplined My Child. Basically, the author went into detail about an experience she had while shopping at Old Navy where her children were being challenging in the (slow) checkout line and the woman behind her told her kids that they needed to listen to their mom. She recounted the situation and was furious that a stranger would butt in.
I read the story and formed my own opinions on how I would feel if put in that same situation and predicted that I would not be too upset – but it would of course depend on the intention of the stranger and would depend on what led up to the intervention.
Today I found out firsthand how I would respond. This afternoon I reluctantly packed up my 3 kids (3 and under) and hauled them to the Verizon store to get a new phone. That right there tells you just how desperate I really was to replace my broken iPhone!! Nothing ever moves quickly at a cell phone store so after being in there for 45 minutes with my kids (and literally zero progress towards getting my new phone) my 3 year old started to get antsy.
She was behaving as well as I could have asked for… but then it happened. She decided to put me in a bind. She took off towards the exit at the front of the store while I was in the back of the store at the service desk, with a double stroller (loaded up with my one year old twins). She looked at me smugly and said ‘See you later, Mommy’ as she started to plan her escape. I told her to come back… I pleaded her to not open that door and then it happened. A woman (a perfect stranger) looked at my daughter and sternly said “Ehhhhhh! You aren’t listening to your mom!” My daughter’s eyes filled with tears and her lip started trembling. And something amazing happened. My 3 year old (with her head looking at the floor) started slowly walking back to me. She LISTENED to the stranger. The woman helped me immensely and I was full of gratitude! At this moment when my 3 year old was choosing to test the waters, a perfect stranger chose to intervene and it saved me from having to maneuver my double stroller through the close quarters of a Verizon store while begging my 3 year old to listen.
My daughter is not perfect (nor am I) – she is three and from what I hear, 3 year olds don’t always listen. But guess what? She is the sweetest (strong willed) girl I have ever known and I pray that some day her stubbornness will serve her well. As a parent to three young children I am doing the best I can to raise them to be respectful and kind children and adults. I don’t claim to have all the answers and while my toddler generally listens to me when I tell her no– today she decided to test the waters.
In the car after we finally left, she said to me “Mommy, that lady scared me.” I told her, “that lady was NOT scary, she just wanted you to listen to Mommy.” And that was that. My daughter recovered, life moved on. She told me she loved me and she told me that she makes her daddy’s heart happy. And THAT she does. So today I discovered how I would react to a stranger disciplining my child. (**Now had the woman physically touched my daughter, used profanity or said something demeaning I would have taken serious issue.) But a simple gesture of telling my 3 year old that she needed to listen to me is something I will never get upset about. After all, it takes a village and these days I take all the help I can get!
Thanks for reading my post! I swear I’m not crazy and if in the situation you were in, would also be thankful of the stranger stepping in. 🙂
Nope you are not crazy at all! Every situation is SO different! And luckily my other 2 were strapped in a stroller and under control at that given moment (not usually the case!) 🙂
Very tactfully done, ladies! I love that we can share many different experiences and opinions and still all be supportive of one another as MOMS! Love that about the CMBN. And thanks to the lady who stopped your kid from running out the door… I have not been so lucky in the past! -Jenny, KMB
I’m a teacher. I frequently admonish other people’s kids in public, because it’s force of habit. And surprisingly, I’ve never had anyone say a thing. I think it’s the manner in which I do it- respectful of the child, yet with commanding authority. Sometimes, I don’t even say a word, I just give the teacher look. People have reprimanded my own kids when I’ve been out of reach, if they’ve crossed the line while at the playground or whatever. I’m perfectly fine with it, like you said, so long as they don’t touch or yell disrespectfully at them. Kids need to hear from multiple sources that indeed, what mommy and daddy say IS the cultural norm, and no, you cannot do that!
This article is so much better than the one you referenced. In the other article it sounds like the mom allowed her insecurities to get the best of her.