Dear Stay-at-Home Mom,
Can I be honest? Sometimes, I get jealous of you.
Like, when I picture your mornings, minus the chaos of hustling kids out the door to daycare. I picture breakfasts eaten without staring at the clock, maybe a morning kids’ show, everyone still in PJs. I see you taking the kids to the zoo or the park or the lake mid-morning, snapping selfies with them and texting your husband the funny thing your oldest said. I see you throwing a load of laundry in the dryer when you get home (or whenever you WANT!), playing goofy games with the kids over lunch, eating food you didn’t have to pack at 11 PM the night before.
When the youngest goes down for a nap, I see you getting things done around the house, or working on your in-home business, or bonding with your oldest over a craft project. I see you witnessing every milestone and every funny moment, amassing memories that will make you smile years from now. I see you, glowing and healthy from days spent outside, chatting up the other moms at the park or the library or the gym, wearing whatever the heck you want, never going to boring department meetings, never realizing mid-day that you forgot to put deodorant on and can’t do a thing about it…
It all seems so nice, as I sit in my cramped, sunless office, stressing about the project I’m way over my head in and wondering what my kids are doing right now (that I’m missing).
But don’t worry. I know there’s more to it than that.
I know you also deal with meltdowns, and picky eaters, and fighting over toys (over everything), and long, lonely days where you’re way over-touched and you don’t talk to a single person over the age of 4. I know there are rainy days, snowy days, teething days, and inexplicably-crazy-kids days. I know you go to the same park a bazillion times a week, repeat the same phrases to your kids all day, play the same games over and over, and prepare and clean up SO MUCH food.
I know you’re desperate for alone time and adult time, and I know you feel guilty when you take that out on the kids. I know you think about your education and your pre-kids career, and you wonder if you’re doing the right thing. I know you wish you could contribute more financially. I know you worry that you’re pouring so much of yourself into your kids that you might lose sight of who you are.
I guess I just wanted to let you know that I see you, and I recognize the sacrifices you’re making for your family. It’s easy for me to focus on the highlights of your life—the things I’m personally missing out on—but I know that’s not the full picture.
The truth is, neither of our lives is perfect or easy, but they’re both pretty dang awesome—just in slightly different ways.
I see you, and I support you. Keep it up, girl!
Love,
Working Mom
Dear Working Mom,
Can I be honest? Sometimes, I get jealous of you.
Like, when I picture your mornings, sipping a still-hot latte, alone at your quiet desk. I see you going to important meetings, talking to important people about important things (or at least, talking to adults about adult things). I see you grabbing lunch with your coworkers, gossiping about the office, maybe on an outdoor patio, maybe over some giant salads and still-cold iced teas. I see you giving presentations, in that cute tailored blazer you have, speaking eloquently and confidently to a room of people who respect your ideas.
I see you planning out your days (and having that actually be a useful endeavor), working on projects that interest and challenge you, getting recognized for your hard work from your peers and superiors. I see you traveling for work—sitting on a plane (ALONE!), staying in a nice hotel room, eating dinner on someone else’s dime. I see how proud you are of your career, how good it makes you feel. I see how extra special the time you spend with your kids is—the way you’re eager to pour into them in the evenings and on weekends, the way you treasure every minute…
It all seems so nice, as I sit here eating leftover cold chicken nugget bits off my son’s plate, half-heartedly yelling at the kids to stop tackling each other and preemptively beating myself up for all the TV I know I’m going to let them watch later.
But don’t worry. I know there’s more to it than that.
I know that you still feel guilty sometimes after dropping off your kids, especially when they cling to you and cry. I know you envy the person who gets to spend their days with your children, seeing the funny things they do and hearing the funny things they say. I know you hate being stuck in your office on a beautiful day, wondering what your kids are up to and wishing you could be part of it.
I know it’s hard at the end of the day, when everyone’s tired and hungry and cranky, and you’re desperately cobbling dinner together before the frantic rush of baths and bedtime, and you SO wish it could be different because those are the only precious hours you get together as a family. I know it sucks to have to cram all the housework and errands into the weekends. I know you get lonely when you travel, and all the nice dinners and hotel rooms in the world can’t compete with those little faces at home that you can’t kiss goodnight. I know you miss your kids, and you wonder if you’re doing the right thing.
I guess I just wanted to let you know that I see you, and I recognize the sacrifices you’re making for your family. It’s easy for me to focus on the highlights of your life—the things I’m personally missing out on—but I know that’s not the full picture.
The truth is, neither of our lives is perfect or easy, but they’re both pretty dang awesome—just in slightly different ways.
I see you, and I support you. Keep it up, girl!
Love,
Stay-at-Home Mom
Note:
This post was written by a woman who’s been a working mom, a stay-at-home mom, and a work-from-home mom. She’s felt the unique joys and challenges of each, and is here to scream from the rooftops: none of them were easy. None were perfect. And definitely, none came without guilt.
There’s always greener grass somewhere, and always will be. Don’t forget to look down at your feet from time to time–the ground you’re standing on right now is actually pretty awesome.
Loved it… I am a working mom and I can so relate to it!
Loved this article! So well written, and so TRUE! I was a married working mom, divorced single working mom, newly married with 3 step kids plus mine working mom, then sole working mom when my husband lost his job for 6 months- while I as 9 months pregnant! Then I was a stay at home mom for 2.5 years, and now back to work mom with 5 kids- I have done it all, and It is ALL hard. We need to support our fellow Mommas, no matter what role they are in, because there are tough days no matter who you are or what you’re “work ” status is.
All have their pros and cons- the key is to try and find the blessings and silver lining in every aspect of being a woman- because at the end of the day- WOMEN ROCK!!!
Both of these are very good. But, what I wonder is what the children might say. Who is there for the meltdowns? Is it someone who really pays attention and truly cares because they love the child? When children are stressed and tired or sick, does that paid caregiver even take time to notice? Is mommy’s career more important?
It’s not just about “mommy’s career”. Sometimes it’s not an option, it’s a financial mandatory.
What Mandy said. And also women have a choice on how they care for and parent their children. It’s wonderful when they can make those choices with support and without judgment.
Unless you’re living in a smaller, less expensive house, unless you’ve given up expensive treats and vacations, unless you’ve traded pricey vehicles for used, yet reliable models, and seen if you can make it on one income, then you cannot say that a 2nd income in the house cannot be lived without. In this materialistic world we have considered some very expendable things as mandatory. We don’t need big budgets for name brand clothing, in fact we don’t even NEED small budgets for it. We don’t need professionally done nails or expensive color in our hair…childhood is gone in a blink. You don’t get the formative years back, and children do not get to lay down for all their naps, with a loving parent kissing and hugging them goodnight. With a parent that loves them in charge of their discipline each day. Growing up along side their siblings, and forming best friend relationship’s with them, not with their siblings in another room, and kept apart like strangers all day long.
Yes, it is a trade off, and yes, some people (but far less that claim this) have no choice. But I applaud the parents that have sacrificed their luxuries, their careers, who they were before they became a parent, because they see the moment for what it is, fleeting.
I don’t think this is a fair statement . Between my husband and I we make mid-six figures but Due to the cost of living where we live, rent, electric and heat bills, student loans, groceries, car insurance, medical and life insurance, contributions to our future and my daughters college fund, I literally cannot live on one salary.
I do not live outside my means. I do not take fancy vacations or drive an expensive car. My 2 bedroom apt is moderate – no doorman or luxury amenities. The last time I got a manicure was 2 years ago and who knows when I last went to a salon.
I do not pay for childcare as my mom babysits and still if my husband or I didn’t work – I would more than struggle. I couldn’t pay rent, my student loans would have to be deferred which is setting up my family for failure and I wouldn’t have certain medical benefits through my employer. Sure do I spend a hundred dollars a month so my daughter can go to Gymboree or music class. Yes. But to me that is so important in her growth and an opportunity for her to learn and make friends. That wouldn’t happen if I didn’t work.
I wish every day that I could stay at home with her and not miss her “firsts”. I wish I can take her to the park or stay home with her just because she has the sniffles. I cry every single morning when she says “momma stay” but we do not work so we can go shopping or take tennis lessons and lease a Lexus. I work in order to provide for my family. To put a roof over our head. And so that down the road, we aren’t struggling with all the financial repercussions from having one income.
I’d gladly “sacrifice” my career if I had the opportunity but in return I’d be doing more harm than help.
Thank you for this comment, Janine, and all of the other moms on this post that understand her day-to-day life. Your reality and mine are almost identical, and my husband and I both work as hard as possible to ensure that we can pay the bills, the rent, our student loans, and still provide for our children. We are not choosing fancy vacations over time with our children; we are choosing to love and support them the best we can at this time in our lives. Stay strong and ignore what “Sarah” said. It is unfair and narrow-minded for her to think that she can make a generalization like that.
This was a wonderful balanced article, and it is a shame that Sarah needed to make a comment like the one she did.
Dear Sarah,
My husband died, so there is only one way to pay the rent and put food on the table. But thank you for making me feel like a failure to my children.
I’m sure that was not the writer’s intent to make you feel like a failure. As a matter of fact, I applaud you for being there to take care of your children as a SINGLE parent. I was a single parent when my husband and I split and my boys were 2.5 and 1 month old. I also had no choice but to go back to work to put food on the table and take care of my boys. I had some help from family but eventually I had to pay for child care, and the tears that we both shed broke my heart. If I had a choice, I would have loved to stay home at least until they started school but I was not that fortunate. So kudos to all those parents who are raising their children alone. You are both mom and dad to your children. My sons are now parents and I am blessed to be the grandmother of 5 beautiful children the youngest being only 9 months old and my heart. Stay strong.
So says a privileged person who does not understand the average wages across America. Did you know in La for example a teacher only makes 35k, before taxes. After taxes we will say 25-28. Lets say 28 for both math and simplicity. So my mythical teacher brings home 2.3K a month! Great Right….Now lets say this teacher did go to college, shocking I know, but he only has a modest 300 a month student loans repayment, b/c he was a very responsible teacher. Now he also has health insurance, b/c he has a family and they do occasionally need to see a doctor. Lets be very generous and say his monthly premium is only 500 and its great health insurance. So now he has 1500 a month left. Go him! Now in 1500 he needs to pay for a house or apartment to rent in Louisiana that is still 750-11000 for an apartment or house for him and his wife and their two children. and we still haven’t added insurance, food, clothing, utilities….so need I go on? and this is a college educated inviduials. What do you think it is for those who never had the benefited from that opportunity. Its easy for someone who has never had to provide and work and keep food on the table to degrade those who work. Many of us marry for reasons other than financial security and do not have the privilege of having a spouse to makes enough.
—ps. I am in law school and was the breadwinner until I did so. We made 75K and yes my husband stayed at home with our son, but I would never make the assumptions about someone elses financial situation.
Sarah, I agree with you 100%! If Sara’s comments don’t apply to your situation then she’s not speaking to you…no need to feel belittled. Her point is, make sure you’ve prioritized before claiming that you need two incomes. If you have done that, then she’s not addressing you. Only you know that. Due to circumstances, I am now a single working stay at home mom. I moved to a different state so that I could get housing that I could afford on my single income. I work from home at nights and bust my but so I can be with my kids. I also tried being a working single mom, but my kids suffered! So I sacrifice, so my kids don’t have to.
There always has to be one of you people…
Thanks Obama
Lol way to completely miss the point of this post.
I make nearly 3x my husband’s full-time salary right now (and trust me, mine is not great) plus I have fantastic benefits that allow us to only pay $60/month for his meds that would otherwise be about $3500/month. We live simply, don’t go on vacations, but are not in debt. I wish everyone would stop assuming that everyone can survive off of “one income”. Each “one income” is not the same. I have a WONDERFUL husband who works hard and has many gifts, but it will be a while before he makes enough to support us, if that ever does happen. This is what works for our family, at least for right now.
Plus, I get to work in a meaningful field and share my gifts and passions with the college students I invest in. My children can share me some. Plus, they know that they have a village of people around them who love them. We make our time together meaningful.
Barb, Sarah and Tgrahammy – I’ve been both (my youngest son was diagnosed in the autistic spectrum and I stayed home and studied and worked with him on his social/developmental skills in order to make certain that he was mainstreamed in at school and could grow up to be a productive adult). And my husband left. And now I’m stuck trying to get back into the workforce after having been absent from it for almost 10 years. I WISH I had stayed in the workforce, because getting even an interview, even with good education and skills is a toughie. I’ve had a couple of job offers (junior web developer and help desk tech was one – for $9/hr. – laughable to use THAT much of my brain for almost minimum wage). I’m willing to go back to entry-level, but I’m not willing to be taken advantage of. I’d work for $9/hr. if I had to – at a retail or fast food job or the like, so it’s not simply about the money, it’s about how employers fairly compensate their employees for the skills used, but that’s another topic. My niece looked down HER nose at working mothers as well, feeling that they were not being “as good” a mother as she was – then HER husband left, and she was left without any working skills and very little in the way of child support. So don’t use broad brushstrokes to judge. My older children all were raised while I was working outside of the home, and they turned out great. And I DID miss them when I was at work, but I was working for THEM – for THEIR tuition and THEIR college savings and THEIR clothes and activities and food and . . . well, you get the picture. I was working because I wanted to be able to provide well for them even if something happened to my husband. I was also there when my youngest needed more than just a guiding hand, and I’ve sacrificed my entire standard of living to do so. He’s a teenager now, mainstreamed in high school, doing wonderfully well, and while it was fulfilling to actually be at home with one of the children, doing what needed to be done, I still wish there was a way I could have done both.
So, Sarah – my career is a luxury? The career I got after spending countless hours in the classroom to get 2 degrees, and now have thousands (and thousands… and thousands) of dollars in loans that this career is helping to pay off? My car was a used model when I bought it, many of my clothes are bought second-hand, my nails are bitten down to the cuticles, and my hair color is natural.
I realize every single day that childhood is fleeting, yet my husband and I are doing the very best we can to manage the lives we have. We don’t need judgement from strangers like you saying that we’re making mistakes.
Wow… just wow… because yes, we live with my mother. We use cloth diapers and my sons havr never had a drop of formula. We drove paid up good reliable second hand cars (one which my father GAVE to me). I dyed my hair with $5 box dye every second month. I kept my nails filed short and painted them myself if I had the time. We ate home cooked whole food that thankfully my mother had time to prepare from scratch. My mother carried most of the financial burden of groceries thankfully. We didn’t go on vacation. We barely visited family because of the cost of gas. And still we couldn’t get by. Financially we were drowning despite both of us working full time. This thankfully has passed but please your comments are hurtful towards the mothers that simply cannot afford not to work but suffer the guilt of leaving their children. And yes we wonder everyday if we are doing the right thing by trusting others with the meltdowns etc. Sometimes a career is not a choice but a necessity.
Oh, Sarah…I knew the judgy perfect moms would come out. Could we live without my (part time) salary? I’m sure we could manage, but we’d be screwed if we had an emergency. Also, I spent 8 years getting my doctorate, so I didn’t want to give that up. Plus, my son lives that his mommy is an animal doctor and can share lots of cool stories about my work day. Plys, I hope it helps him see a strong woman who accomplished a lot and that he will redpect strength and independebce when it comes time for him to find a partner someday.
And my kid ADORED his daycare/school. They did so many fun things I never would have thought of and he had so many great social opportunities. I don’t regret anything so far.
Strongly agree with you, Julie! Why does it HAVE to be financially necessary for a mother to work? There is nothing wrong with having both children and a carreer. I would never EVER want my daughter to think she is required to be a stay at home mother to be a good mother if she decides to have children as an adult. I want her to be able to decide what SHE wants. If I’m being honest with myself I’m probably a better mother and feel better mental health-wise as a working mom and that does not mean I’m any less devoted to my children and their well being. And my kids have thrived both in and out of daycare – happy, well-adjusted and loved.
I have been both a stay at home mom and a working mom and as the article said there are benefits and sacrifices to both. Wish everyone could see that!
Yes!!!!
Well, I’m OK with saying that we COULD go without my income. But I own a business. I love my career. I love that I give jobs to hundreds of people and that my business has helped thousands of families. My son went to daycare. Guess what? He’s not a monster! He’s polite, loving, intelligent…I could go on and on. And my now 7 year old son and I have a great relationship.
Don’t feel like you need to make excuses, working moms.
Well, Michelle, I love both your name AND your response (along with many others).
For one, way to miss the point, Sarah, and continue to belittle people who are making different choices than you. People like you are the problem and reason we need articles like this.
Two, stop acting as if I’m a cold, heartless mother because I have a career. Grow up and join 2016. I have a business that is noble work, am the financial breadwinner, and show my daughter (like my mother did) a lot of lessons about hard work and goals. I also schedule around her school parties, cuddle as often as possible, and spend every moment finding how to raise her as a well rounded and respectful human being.
Three, I have huge respect for what moms at home do, much like this article. It’s not a fight. However, attitudes like yours add to the fact that career moms (we all work) still face so much crap in the workplace. Your husband gets reassurance that his lack of respect for women working is justified and treats people like me as their subordinate, despite more experience, degrees, or spot-on ideas. Perhaps that doesn’t bother you.
And it should.
Barb,
Sad to see that your “questions” are just tearing down more women and possibly creating more guilt. Why can we not all gather around as women and mothers and accept that we all have different wants and needs for our families and SUPPORT each other however we can?
Barb and Sarah,
You clearly didn’t understand the point of the article.
Your not-so-innocent “questions” about what the children would say and what financial sacrifices the family has made to justify mommy’s career, are clearly mean to belittle and guilt any woman who works… whether by choice or by necessity. Passive aggressive mommy-warring at it’s finest. Way to illustrate the exact opposite of the message that author was trying to convey. Well done.
To the author– thank you for your well written piece. It certainly captured the guilt, chaos, and joys of motherhood… no matter the path that is walked.
PS– Yes, Barb and Sarah. You are clearly superior and better than anyone who dares to work outside the home. Your way is the best (ONLY) way. Got it. Understood. Thanks for your feedback. I think I know just where I’m going to file that away….
>Who is there for the meltdowns?
Experts in early childhood education
>Is it someone who really pays attention and truly cares
Yes
>When children are stressed and tired or sick, does that paid caregiver even take time to notice?
It’s literally their job to
>Is mommy’s career more important?
Yes, and you’re fucking welcome. My job makes your world a better place to live in.
Clapping.
YES.
I think several of you missed the point! The point is not to judge other women for making a choice different from yours. Sarah, you really missed the point!(and you sound like a super judgemental person) Women have several different labels, MOTHER, is on of them. Because a mom chooses not to give up all other labels doesn’t mean her children are sacrificing. I’m a working mom so my children will have high education paid for just like my mom did, I’m 28 years old and I don’t remember ANY nap time or specific emotional breakdown i had when I was 4. But I do remember my college graduation and how hard my mom worked to put me through my undergraduate and I respect her and love her for that. Moral of the story… Women are awesome!
Barb, I can’t speak for all children, but I can tell you what my kid says. We went to tour a few preschools because I was tired of the string of unreliable sitters we were using to cover the few hours I teach in the afternoons. I was very hesitant to have him in an all day program when I only really needed a few hours of childcare in the afternoon, but schools don’t call in sick a few hours before I have to conduct a concert. We had to drag him away from the tour. Rather than waiting until the fall, we started him for the summer session. He asked about it every single day in between the tour and his first day. It’s three hours, 9-12, and they have after care until 6. I had to drag him away after lunch the first day, he was in tears because he didn’t want to leave. It took so many promises of coming back the next day to tear him away. I finally let him stay in after care one day to see if he would be okay. He didn’t want to leave at 6. He asks to stay after every day. My budget only allows a few days of extended care for now until I’m working more in the fall, but given the choice, he would stay every day. So, to answer your questions:
>But, what I wonder is what the children might say.
He says “can I stay for next school?” (his name for after care, after he wakes from nap. He hadn’t napped at home for nearly a year, but likes to sleep at school.)
>Who is there for the meltdowns?
Trained and certified caregivers who have a wealth of resources to deal with big toddler emotions and way more patience than I have because they’ve had a good night’s sleep and don’t live with these kids. Also, he has friends there who help him. It’s adorable to watch one tiny person come over to comfort another tiny person.
>Is it someone who really pays attention and truly cares because they love the child?
Yes, yes to all of those things. The teachers at my son’s school really pay attention. They aren’t distracted by a million chores that also have to be done. They aren’t distracted by a backlog of Stuff. They are there only to take care of the children. And yes, they love them. Not the same love as I have as their mother, but yes, they love my kid.
>When children are stressed and tired or sick, does that paid caregiver even take time to notice?
Sick kids stay home so they don’t get everyone else sick, but yes, every single time at this school and the other program he participated in when he was younger they mention at pick up that he seemed slower, or not as energetic, and that we should keep an eye on it. Recently, we had a meltdown in the morning before drop off and he was in a mood. I told the teacher what had happened and that he might need some space or be extra sensitive, and then got a detailed email during their nap time about how they had talked through it and ideas I could use at home to help him work through those difficult feelings. So yes, they do notice, and they do take time.
>Is mommy’s career more important?
My sanity is important. My identity as a human being is important. Balance is important. Quiet one on one time spent with my younger one is important. Also, the condescending tone of this question doesn’t help anyone.
The most liberating thing anyone ever said to me was that it takes a village to raise a child, and that child doesn’t care if some of the village is paid to be there.
This sounds a lot like judging. It is self anointed arrogant people like you that enjoy kicking other females for no reason. Hopefully people know who their nanny or sitter is, and know they are loved by them. From what I have seen in children’s meltdowns, they seem to happen more often with stay at home mothers than working mothers because they are not as well adjusted, or mothers coddle them way too much.
You could ask are those stay at home mother’s thinking about their child’s best interest and how they may feel? If the parents allow their child to have play dates at other homes, is that your child thinking why do we not have nicer things, toys or a nice house like other people? Why can’t I have pretty clothes? I wish I could go out to eat like Susie does with her parents. Wow, I wish I had good food every night. I wish I could go on vacations. I wish I could see and play with other kids more often. On and on…
Now if none of that would apply to your circumstances, you need to keep your opinion to yourself until you realize how most families struggle financially if the mother stays home. That struggle isn’t about nice things, actually most cases it is NOT about things. It is basic necessities. It is about paying the power bill and hopefully having enough money left to afford decent protein for their child to eat. Or if it will be spaghetti without the meat again.
You really need to step off that pedestal before a higher power knocks you off.
Please shut up
I absolutely love this…all to often, there is so much backlash from both sides about how much harder life is for one vs. the other. I appreciate that you wrote this article!
So, can I be honest too!
Dear Moms,
Sometimes, I see your life and I wish it was mine. I wish I had hurried mornings. I wish I had messes to clean up. I wish that I had noses to wipe, diapers to change, homework to help with, dishes to wash, mountains of laundry, a cluttered toy room, bikes on the front lawn and everything that comes with it.
I know that you see my life and you think it’s a picnic. Just the two of us. But it isn’t.
I guess what I want to say is….thank you for being willing to give up your life for theirs. Thank you for loving them so much. Thank you for being something that I will never be.
<3
Thank you Katie. That’s exactly what I was thinking. Both of these stories do not represent all sides. Let’s not forget those of us who would kill to have a child. Whether we work, or don’t, isn’t the issue. That’s the least of it. It’s the fact that we will never be parents, and we are jealous of both of you. And I am thinking to myself, be thankful for what you have.
I’ve been where you are and my heart is with you. There are lots of sides to the story for sure.
I’m not going to pretend I’ve been in your shoes, but this still punched me in the gut. As it should as a fellow woman, because we are on this crazy ride together.
I can’t believe that the amount of pull you have toward motherhood (clearly) doesn’t spill out. That you don’t love people around you well and fill mothering gaps they need filled.
I hope and pray that you are able to do that 24/7 someday. <3
Katie,
I know this was 2 years ago, but thank you for your comment. You took the words right out of my mouth.
This is so great. All true, all hard, all worth it, wherever you/we are. I’ve been at all parts of this spectrum, including where you are right now, Katie. Thank you for this.
Oh…my…goodness! As a WAHM, I LOVE this and thank you so much for writing it! Through the frustrating & hard times this is a great reminder to be thankful for the blessings of being able to stay at home. This was right on time. God bless you!
So, JSYK, women who have businesses and also stay at home are /not/ SAHMs – they’re /Work From Home Moms/. They get to be around their kids but don’t always get to interact with them. They have the same deadlines working mons have. People on the outside see them and assume the cleaning and cooking is on them. They assume their job is a hobby and not a means of finance.
I went back to work three days a week after my daughter was born and it took many months before I was able to not feel guilty about leaving her when I went to work and to not feel guilty about not being at work the two days I was home. Then one day, my co-worker who doesn’t have any kids yet told me how lucky she thought I was to “have it all” right now, and I think maybe she’s right. I hope more employers like mine can help their mom workers find balance!
Good lord, how did you even function?! I could barely walk across my house by myself three days after my son was born (no-complications vaginal birth, so I know it could’ve been much harder), let alone go back to work.
Whether it was by choice or forced because of financial strains, I hope you know that almost every Mom that hears a mother went back to work three days postpartum thinks you’re a serious badass. You must possess incredible emotional and physical strength. Guilt seems to come with the motherhood territory, but I hope you know you’re a true Super Mom!
Wow, I completely misread your comment! I feel silly. But doing what you have to for your family and for yourself still makes you a Super Mom! <3
I’m a full-time working mom, sitting at my office desk after reading this, and I’m crying. so, so good and so, so true. countless days I have cried while driving the “wrong” direction on the way to work. so many times I have longed to be the one caring for my little. and I have also tried to remind myself exactly what you remind me, that there is no perfect, that we are all finding our own beautiful and noble ways to do this blessed work that is parenting. Thank you for sharing, mama. <3