I Had Cosmetic Surgery and This is What I Learned

3 Lessons I Want to Share

When I was 21, I had cosmetic surgery. To be more specific, I had liposuction on my thighs, my abdominals, and my “love handles”. When I elected to have the surgery, I was desperate. I hated my body for as long as I could remember. It wasn’t skinny, which in turn resulted in me getting made fun of a lot, and made me feel like I was less worthy than the other girls who were skinny. I had tried nearly every diet out there and since I hadn’t found one that worked long-term, I had given up. I couldn’t handle it anymore.

A friend of mine worked at a plastic surgeon’s office and I was doing pretty well financially, so I figured, why not? Why shouldn’t I have the body that I dreamed of all my life? Well, here’s what I learned from the experience.

Do What Makes You Happy and Forget the Naysayers

I still believe this today. If you want to do something for yourself, to better yourself or others, please do it. Forget what others have to say because their opinions don’t matter. I had so many people who told me not to do it, but they weren’t the one living my life or living in my body. They didn’t know the ridicule I had experienced. They didn’t know that I developed an eating disorder at the age of 18 because I had no one to turn to who understood. They didn’t know that I contemplated suicide several times because I was in so much pain because of the treatment I received at school in grade school and high school. They didn’t know my pain. Therefore, they couldn’t comment enough to hold me back from what I wanted.

I believe this can be applied to all areas of our lives. If you truly believe in something, and it’s not hurting anyone else, then do it. Go for it. Put your eyes on the mission, the vision, and go for it with all your passion. Don’t let anyone, or any circumstance, keep you from having what you want and desire. It may not always turn out exactly as you envisioned, but that’s not up to you to decide. For now, just focus on your desires and go for it.

Good People Will Come and Go From Your Life, But That Doesn’t Mean You Need to Be Sad

I had an amazing friend who helped me through all this. She was a godsend. We spent many years together as great friends, and she saw me through some of the darkest times of my life (and the most painful aside from childbirth). Now 12 years post-surgery, we keep in touch, but not like we did. Some days I mourn our friendship and other days I celebrate what a beautiful friendship we DID have, and how it served each of us, while it lasted. Not all friendships or relationships are meant to last forever. Some people simply come into our lives for a short time, teach us a lesson or two, share some amazing moments with us, and then depart our lives. Don’t be sad! Be grateful for the experiences, the memories, the joys, and the laughter! This relationship had served its purpose and while neither of know what the future holds, we can live in gratitude knowing what we had was special at that time in our lives.

I am forever grateful for the close friendship we had. I was living in California, 2,000 miles away from any family, my boyfriend had just broken up with me, I was 18, in college, and broken. This beautiful angel had entered my life as if by chance and became my roommate. Life works like that. Little moments that turn into big moments and happy memories. She and I had a beautiful friendship, but then I moved away, and life happened. And it’s ok. Just be thankful you have good people who come and go in your life, because their sheer presence made your life better for a moment in time, and onward.

Not Everything Can be Fixed with a Knife

I don’t regret my surgery, but some days I wish I hadn’t put myself through that pain simply to reach a goal I didn’t think was achievable through proper diet and exercise. Like I said, up until that point, I had tried nearly everything. Years later, and gaining back the inches I had “lost”, I found myself back to where I started, and depressed once again about my body. I couldn’t quite understand how I got back to where I was. I thought I was eating healthy, I thought I was doing everything right, but what I hadn’t addressed was the emotional mess I was in, and had been in, all my life. No knife-cutting can fix what is deep inside your heart, your emotions, your soul. No amount of weight loss can fix what pain you experienced all your life. It won’t simply wipe away all the hurt and anxiety and ridicule you have experienced. This takes a different kind of work, and work that I am still working on to this day. What helps? Talking about it. Whether through a therapist, or a friend, talk about it. Get it out of your body. I found meditation and finding a spiritual connection has helped me tremendously.

Although I did eventually find a healthy way of eating, for real, and achieved a body that I could only dream of (and after 2 kids), the work on myself is never-ending. It’s deeper than having a fit physique. It’s deeper than looking healthy on the outside. I desire to be healthy in my mind, body, and spirit. It’s an ongoing, daily practice for me. One that can’t be fixed with one surgery. One that can’t be fixed with a pill. One that can’t be fixed in an instant. This will take a lifetime, and I am willing to take this lifetime to do it. It’s worth it to me.