I’m sure many parents have heard about the American Academy of Pediatrics recommendation to avoid all screen time until a child is two years old, then, if used after that, use it sparingly. Even mentioning it probably makes some people’s skin crawl with mom-guilt. We all know that we don’t need more of that! I know I feel that twinge of guilt when my kids have used the screen babysitter a little too much.
As anyone can tell you, it’s not helpful to just tell people to not do something without giving them an alternative that can meet that need. We all know we need some child-free time to shower, get a little work done, or pee without an audience, so if we don’t use screens, what can we do? Here are three of my top choices for how I get work done (or have a moment to myself) without screens:
1. Books on tape… I mean CD. My kids love listening to audiobooks. By the time my daughter was three, she would happily spend a half hour or more in her room listening to her favorite books on tape. Some of them had physical copies of the book to go along with them, but some were purely audiobooks. Disney has a whole line of books with CDs that tell the basic story of some of their well known movies (Tangled, Beauty and the Beast…). The library has a ton of different books to choose from. We have even used them in the car when we’ve taken long road trips across the country, and they hold their attention for a full hour at a time.
Research suggests that when kids’ brains have to fill in the missing details in books (audio or regular) they use a different part of the brain important to imagination. They don’t utilize this part of the brain when watching a movie or video because it is already there for them. So, time with books (with adults and without) is vital to developing this part of the brain.
2. Podcasts and music. There are some great podcasts that are made for kids. They love to listen to them and they engage their imagination and thinking skills. My daughter could also listen to music and dance for a fair amount of time, especially if she has her brother with her. This is more something that she started when she was four, so it isn’t as helpful for toddlers. Some of our favorites for preschool or elementary school-aged kids are Wow in the World, Forever Ago, Highlights Hangout, Smash Boom Best, and Brains On!
3. Self-directed play. From the time my kids were babies and onward, I gave them space (that was safe) to play on their own. When they were younger, I’d start them off playing and interacting with them, then slowly step away. I’d stay close incase they needed something, but as time went on, they could play longer without needing interaction with me all the time. Of course, it is important to have this interaction at times, but self-directed play is also important for a child’s development of self-control, creativity, and attention.
The ability to engage in self-directed play actually decreases when kids spend too much time with screens. When they engage too much with screens, it becomes more difficult for them to select an activity and begin to engage in it without assistance and stimulation from other sources. This becomes a vicious cycle, as the child struggles to engage in self-directed play, so the parent utilizes screen time more, and the child has even more difficulty engaging in self-directed play. The best way to break this cycle is to start small, and keep building up from there. Getting babies and kids started on playing on their own, then backing away and letting them play, but coming back momentarily if they need it.
Is screen time inherently always bad? No. There are some benefits, especially for certain educational programs and video games. However, self-directed play is also needed and valuable, so balancing the two becomes more important.
Do you have other ways that you get a moment of time to yourself without screens? Share them below in the comments!
