I’ll be back, I promise. Pregnancy has caused me to become a person even I don’t recognize. My husband is probably terrified his wife, who he agreed to have and to hold for better or for worse, is gone forever. Luckily, pregnancy is just temporary and I will return to my normal self once again. But for now, I have changed in a number of ways.
Pregnancy Brain
First of all, I have become stupid – at least it feels that way. I seem to have lost all my words and say “thing” a lot. One day I couldn’t think of the word “car” so I kept using “automobile” instead. The people I was conversing with probably thought I was very strange.
The forgetfulness I am experiencing is at an extreme. It doesn’t do any good to buy two packs of hot dogs and come home with zero buns. My husband made me the following list during my second pregnancy in jest but I used it more than I care to admit.
Intimacy Issues
I am a very sexual person and we used to joke that when I became pregnant I would become an out of control nymphomaniac, but this isn’t the case at all.
For each of my pregnancies, I have become much less interested in sex than normal. The cuddler is gone. I want my space. Imagine you constantly have to pee and are hungry, hot, and uncomfortable. You might not want sex as often either. This pregnancy trait is a bummer for both of us.
Dear husband, know that my sexual desire will return eventually, but for now, keep in mind that nothing is going to happen unless starting with a great foot rub.
Queen of the Sloths
After passing the first trimester when the daily goal is just to survive, I still can’t seem to shake the laziness out of me. There is so much to do in a day but my motivation level is at an all-time low.
The gourmet is gone. All I want is grilled cheese, Popsicles, and cereal. I hope you weren’t expecting a three-course meal because it’s not happening.
I nap now. What? Napping is for children. I hate when my husband takes a nap on a weekend or holiday because I feel it is such a waste of time. What a hypocrite I’ve become.
Zero Tolerance
Mostly, my patience is out the window and the filter on my mouth is clearly taking a sabbatical. I get angry over things I would normally brush off. When not pregnant, I am much better at picking my battles but right now so much annoys me. Why did you put dirty dishes on the drying mat? Are you seriously mowing the lawn under our daughter’s window while she is napping? I believe I told my mother-in-law that she had a shopping problem (whoops!). But don’t blame me, blame the hormones!
But never fear. I will return. Slowly, after the craziness of having a newborn fades away I will want to cuddle again, my vocabulary will return, and I won’t nag my husband over every silly little thing. But for now, understand that exhaustion, hormones, and general discomfort have made me a crazy person. Proceed with caution.
