A Story of Infant Loss | Madison Area Support Group for Pregnancy & Infant Loss

**Trigger Warning: Pregnancy & Infant Loss
 
It feels like a beautiful full circle in many ways to be writing to Madison Mom. I grew up in Southern Wisconsin, went to college at UW-Madison and lived and worked in Madison for several years after I graduated. Madison is home to me in every way. (I can taste the cheese curds from the Old Fashioned that I will get to have in a few weeks when we are back to visit!). My husband and I moved to Iowa shortly after we got married and have since relocated our family to the outskirts of Raleigh, North Carolina. So I should start this post by saying…“Hey y’all!”
 

8 weeks after we closed on our home in North Carolina last summer, we welcomed our first baby into the world. In what started off as an exciting due date morning, with contractions inching closer and closer together in increasing intensity, bags packed and in the car and then heading to the hospital, ended in the loss of our precious son, Henry Joseph. Henry was born at 5:18pm on September 10th, 2021. He was 8lbs, 14.2 oz of pure perfection. He had the cutest button nose and dark curls forming at the base of his head. We found out months later after further placenta pathology that Henry had a fetal maternal hemorrhage occurring between his cord and placenta, potentially for days or weeks prior to birth. Our sweet, sweet angel. We love him so much.

I talk about Henry in the past tense because he is physically no longer with us here on Earth, but I talk about him in the present because his spirit and impact truly live with us every day. He has profoundly impacted my life and we hear that from others who learn about his story as well. Friends and family have mentioned that Henry has taught them that you do not need to meet a person physically to feel their love and impact on your life. This sentiment brings us immense hope and peace in the most devastating and heartbreaking moments. 

1 in 4 Pregnancies Ends in Loss

I am here today to get really real with you. 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in loss. I’m inspired by how we have evolved to understanding that what parents need is love, support and acceptance during times of grief, but this is an important conversation that needs to continue. Loss parents are living what is the biggest fear of most mothers and fathers – losing your child… and we have lost our child before we really got to live any moments out with them in the real world. The baby clothes are washed and neatly folded, the stroller is assembled and sitting in the garage, the car seat is buckled in the vehicle and bottles are ready and waiting, if needed. All of these items sit unused. Our arms are empty and our hearts are broken. Some people want every item packed away immediately and some people want every item sitting out in their home for awhile, so their baby is not just “washed away” in an instant. The stroller has nowhere to go and neither does our love. It feels like every dream has been ripped out of your hands and I’m sure a lot of you have heard the quote “grief is love with nowhere to go.”

First Mom’s Support Group in Wisconsin will be taking place in Madison on Thursday, July 7th from 6-8pm at the Great Dane in Fitchburg

What we do have to lean on is the support of other women and families who have walked the journey before us. They wrap us in words, tears, love and “I understand”s that only someone who has experienced a similar loss knows how to offer another loss mom. The group No Foot Too Small, based out of Iowa, was established as a way to do just that. Uniting families. Celebrating Angels. Building Birthing and Bereavement Suites. This group has impacted our grieving journey in many ways, just 9 months into our loss of Henry.

I am honored to share that the first Mom’s Support Group in Wisconsin will be taking place in Madison on Thursday, July 7th from 6-8pm at the Great Dane in Fitchburg.

Here is the EVENT INFO

If you are an angel Mom who is seeking support and community, we would love to have you. All loss is welcome. This is an inclusive group that exists to support and celebrate all angels and their stories. You are welcome to come and share, or you can just listen and feel the support around you.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month is technically in the month of October. But for loss Moms it’s our every single day.

Read 14 Ways to Show Up for Someone Experiencing the Loss of a Baby


Photo by Caynay Photography

About the Author 

Courtney Fitzpatrick is mom to sweet angel, Henry, and goofy Golden Retriever, Murphy, and wife to Scott. They live in the Raleigh, North Carolina suburbs and are enjoying all that the East Coast has to offer a couple Midwest transplants.

Courtney is proud to share inspiring words + colorful gems with the world inside her endeavors with Henry’s Ripple and Unwavering Love Co. She is a fan of vulnerability and connection and believes every human deserves love, compassion and support throughout life’s most difficult journeys. Aside from her family and friends, things that make her smile BIG are iced coffee, fresh flowers and a crisp Wisconsin Badger game day in the fall.

Madison Moms Blog is written by and for moms who live in the Madison Area. We strive to connect local moms by sharing personal experiences, fun ideas and useful information as well as promoting local businesses. Our community begins online, but doesn't stop there! We offer Mom's Night Out events, play groups and other opportunities to connect offline, with and without kids.

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