We are continuing with our series – INTERVIEW WITH A MOM… interviewing local moms about themselves. With a goal of connecting us even more as people and a community!
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I recently was able to catch up with Mariah LeFeber, a Dance Therapist and UW Dance Professor, for a fun and interesting interview. Mariah has taught toddler yoga (that both of my daughters loved) and it was exciting to learn more about her.
Me: What is a job (or career) you have had that was the most fun (not including motherhood)?
Mariah: I would say what I do now. What I love most about what I do right now is…well my undergrad training and passion is in dance performance and then I went on to study dance therapy so I thought I would always being doing only dance therapy but what is really awesome about my hodgepodge career right now is that I get to do both. The dance therapy has made me a better dance teacher in a new way. The fact that I get to combine the technical dance and the dance therapy… I didn’t know that I needed that but now that I’m doing it, it’s really feeding me and I love the balance.
Me: So, being able to take from both sides of it.
Mariah: Yes, and I feel like I’m a better dance teacher because of my dance therapy training. Especially because I am currently teaching mostly college students who may have never danced before so having a language for teaching them how to really get into their bodies. I feel like I’m a better dance therapist because I am able to still teach technical dance.
Me: For people who may not know much about dance therapy can you tell me a little about what it is?
Mariah: It’s a mental health therapy. Most people are familiar with music and art therapy…dance therapy is in the same family but it’s a little smaller of a vocation. I am a dance therapist and also a licensed professional counselor. That allows me to go the traditional therapy route yet having a mind, body approach. Some people think dance therapy is only for dancers but actually it highlights that we all move. We all have different movement and stories of movement coming out of our bodies.
Me: What is an example you could give of dance therapy treatment?
Mariah: Well, dance therapists do work with all populations. Here is an example that is sometimes easier for people to understand. When I was first out of college I worked with autism and related diagnoses for about three years. Children with autism have very different verbal abilities but with dance that didn’t matter. Even if a patient was non-verbal we could relate on a body level. So we were moving together. So if we had a group we would all move together and I would teach without talking so we were all on the same level. So we would be dancing together or drumming together and working towards treatment goals.
The more connected we are to understanding what is going on in our body the more able we are to express who we are with other people. I feel that comes through with all my clients, whatever it is they are dealing with.
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Me: What is your favorite treat or dessert to have when you’re “kid-free” and don’t have to share?
Mariah: I love lemon. A good lemon bar is my favorite. We were just in Chicago over spring break… I used to live there and I loved going to this place called the Corner Bakery because they has the BEST lemon bars. We went there with friends and I got a lemon bar and then stashed it in my purse because I knew my kids would want to eat it…so after bedtime I had my Corner Bakery lemon bar.
Me: That was smart. Because if they even get a hint you’re eating something…
Mariah: Totally.
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Me: What is your favorite music to listen to while in the car?
Mariah: Usually music from our Music Together classes is playing when the girls are in the car. So when I drop them off places I’ll catch myself forgetting and I’m still singing along.
Me: I do that too! I’m so glad I’m not the only one.
Mariah: Minutes will pass. Sometimes I just turn all the music off, that is my quiet space. To not have any sound or anybody need anything. If I do listen to music my favorite band is called Over the Rhine or whatever CD I’m in the mood for. Usually I’ll have CD’s not radio. I kind of like Folk or Soft Rock or Indie music.
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Me: Who was your most influential role model and how did they help shape your life?
Mariah: I have had so many good teachers along the way. Career wise I could really look at many influential teachers who have all contributed something different. But whole picture wise I would say My Dad. I lost him ten years ago to cancer but I feel like I sort of carry him with me. He was a pastor and he wanted me to be a pastor, which wasn’t going to happen. Yet, we would have really good conversations. I would talk to him about how I felt that the church did not do a very good job dealing with mental illness or helping people be in their bodies. Those were both things I felt really passionate about and that is what I do now. Taking what he taught me…the values of that world but being able to be passionate about what I do now and why it matters to me that we make that bridge. He supported me.
Me: I think that is the best gift you can give your children, supporting them.
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Me: What’s something you do (or strive to do) just for you?
Mariah: What I have been trying to do..it’s hit or miss. When I am on campus during the week I try to take another person’s class. So that I get to simply take a dance class. I try to do it once a week but like I said it’s very hit or miss. I carve out that time during my work day knowing I’m going to have to do other work at home later to make up for it but feeling like it is worth it to have that space…just about me getting to dance.
Me: I think that is great and so important to take time that’s just for you.
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Me: What is the best piece of parenting/ mothering advice you have received?
Mariah: I had a friend once telling me about something her mom said. She goes back to “are they safe and are they happy?” I feel like we can get so caught up in all the little details so sometimes I scale back and replay that in my head…”are they safe and are they happy?” Reminding myself that is what really matters.
Me: I think that is really good advice…it is so easy to focus on the micro details. Like if you scale back and are like “they are safe and they are happy, it really doesn’t matter that they are playing in dirty laundry right now.”
Mariah: Totally. I do want them to be happy but also think they should learn how to suffer and be sad sometimes too. I want them to have a deep happiness – where they know they are loved and believe in who they are. Where they understand that sometimes something bad might happen, or they might make a bad choice, but that those instances or choices don’t make them or make life “bad.” It’s so tricky, this parenting thing.
Me: Agreed!
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Me: What is your best piece of advice to people (kids, teens or even adults) that are interested in dance but don’t know where to start?
Mariah: I grew up dancing in a studio setting and there is nothing wrong with that but what I have learned in college and in dance therapy is that performers that are really engaging and moving are that way because they are really connected to what is going on inside their own body. Even for my own girls, they don’t need to be dancers but I do want them in creative movement classes. I want them to discover early on who they are and what their movement preferences are. So my advice is spend time figuring out how you like to move. Maybe watching movement and figuring out what draws you to it. Make it about what matters to you because that is how you’re going to find the connection.
Me: That’s very good advice.
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Originally from Lincoln, Nebraska, Mariah LeFeber met her husband Paul at a junior high student council exchange – and although she never would have guessed it then, they started dating years later. After living in the Twin Cities and Chicago, she landed in Madison nearly 10 years ago. Mariah and Paul have two daughters, Adah (5) and Junia (almost 3). After earning her undergraduate degree in dance and psychology, Mariah went on to pursue her master’s degree in Dance/Movement Therapy & Counseling (DMT). DMT is a unique form of psychotherapy that emphasizes the importance of the mind – body connection in healing. You can learn more about it here (link to www.adta.org). Mariah worked using DMT full time with children with autism for several years before returning to her first passion as a lecturer in the UW Madison Dance Department. She now splits her time between teaching in the dance department and continuing to see DMT clients. Additionally, Mariah co-directs a program called Performing Ourselves (www.peformingourselves.com) that strives to bring dance to girls in low income communities. She loves how watching her daughters move is like returning to dance in its purest form.
