Everyone always says to write down things your kids say or do, because you WILL forget. About a year ago, right in the middle of my second pregnancy (when my hormones were definitely flaring up!), I decided to start a journal to my 2 year old son.
I keep it simple. I have a journal, and I write my son letters. Sometimes they are just a few lines, and sometimes they are several pages. I talk about funny things he says (like when he told me “you’re the BIGGEST mama EVER!” when I was about 7 months pregnant) or fun things we do together (trips to the zoo or playdates with friends).
I talk about the bad days, too, like when we snuggled on the couch all day when he was sick or when he had a tantrum at Target because I wouldn’t buy him something he wanted. I talk about our adventures in potty training and how my heart broke when he broke his leg.
I talk about what an amazing big brother he is, and how much his baby sister loves him. I talk about how he melts my heart when he blows me kisses or tells me he loves me.
I don’t spend a ton of time on it. I do it when I remember, or when I have energy, or when I’m feeling extra nostalgic. Sometimes I write a few days in row, and sometimes I don’t write for weeks. If I forget, I cut myself slack. It’s not like a baby book, where there are stats you are supposed to write at certain times – it’s just meant to capture pieces of our lives that I will be able to savor long after he is grown and gone.
Someday I plan to share this journal with him. I don’t know if he’ll read it, or if he’ll appreciate it, but that’s not why I’m doing it. I’m doing it because I realize how fast time goes, and how hard it is to appreciate your kids in the moment sometimes. I realize that even the normal days, when the house is a mess and milk gets spilled or there are tears, will be fiercely missed someday. I WANT to remember everything, but I know I won’t. This is a way for me to freeze just a small chunk of our lives. Even now, and it’s only been a year, I read back the early letters to him and have already forgotten some of the stuff that happened. It makes me laugh and cry NOW, so I can’t even imagine how I will feel in 10 or 20 years when I read it.
When my baby girl turns 2, the same age Jackson was, I will start a journal for her, too. I may not be perfect at filling out their baby books, or taking pictures that aren’t on my iphone, or even planning perfect birthday parties…but at least I will have their journals, my love letters to my children, to remember how sweet (and so very short) this time is in our lives.
