As I stare down the barrel of the gun that is turning 40 years old, here are some pearls of wisdom I have managed to gather and hold on to along the way. I don’t have a lot of complex truths figured out yet, and maybe I never will, but I have learned some simple ones in the past nearly four decades of this social and biological experiment we call life.
It is OK to do things for yourself. It is OK to put yourself first. It is OK to do things you want to (causing no harm to others, of course).
You can say “No” without explaining further. You don’t even have to say “No, thanks,” you can just say “No.” You are not responsible for other people’s reactions or feelings.
Ask for what you want or need. Most of the time, no one knows unless you speak up.
What works for someone else may not work for you. We are not made from cookie cutters. What is fun to someone else may not be fun for you, and that is OK.
Feeling sad, angry, upset, etc., is a part of life. It lets you know you’re not a sociopath. We can’t be happy all of the time. We have sophisticated emotional webs in our minds and hearts, and navigating them is sometimes tricky and tenuous.
Carmex is the best antidote to chapped lips.
A suntan is your skin’s cry for help. It is saying, I am damaged.
An embrace from a loved one is never time wasted.
Parchment paper is a baker’s best friend.
You can mix in all the eggs in a cookie-dough recipe at once and at the same time as the vanilla extract. You don’t need to combine the dry ingredients separately. Just mix everything well.
Invest in high-quality kitchen knives and get them sharpened regularly. Wash and dry them by hand.
Whether I wash my face religiously or rarely, it looks the same. Using an expensive face cream does not give noticeably different results from using a cheap one. Whether I wear no make-up or a lot of make-up, I look pretty much the same in a photo.
Drink a lot of water. Your body needs it. Have a headache? Drink up. Not feeling thirsty? Make sure to drink some anyway.
Iceberg lettuce is the worst of the lettuces. Unless it’s for a wedge salad.
If you’re having problems getting the poo out, add more fruits and vegetables to your diet. This worked wonders for one of my kids, and it’s a healthy habit anyway.
Geraniums and African violets (from seed, no less!) are the easiest, lowest-maintenance flowers for lazy gardeners like me. Just water them roughly daily and you’re golden.
A few quality friends > many not-well-known friends. For example, I have 436 “friends” on that one blue social media Web site, but only a handful I would actually call or text and see regularly. I much prefer small-group gatherings to large ones that stress me out to even think of.
You don’t need to wash your legs, they’re not really getting that dirty. Unless you’re rolling around in mud.
Sometimes getting outside for even a walk around the block is all it takes to reset your state of mind.
If you can’t remember the last time you washed your bed sheets, it’s time to wash them.
Work is work. It is not who you are. Even if you LOVE what you do for work, you are you and not an occupation. Sacrificing everyone and everything else in pursuit of your career will cost you, and the impact on people in your life matters more than your bank account when you’re gone.
You can keep opinions to yourself. It is possible. And yes, it is contradictory considering I am doing that right now. But at least I’m not sharing ALL of them with you. I do have more, but I have some degree of self-censorship, I swear.
Enjoy the little things. Take time to smell the roses, if you like that scent of course. The things I tend to freak out about are so minuscule in the grand scheme of things. I am grateful to have lasted this long in this world, and if I don’t make it past 40, I’m glad that I had the life I did. I am a work in progress. We all are.
