I run long distances for fun. I realize that this is not everyone’s cup of tea and honestly, some days it’s not mine either. However, I’ve learned a few lessons over the years that I’m finding translate quite well to our current circumstances.
How, you may ask, does social distancing compare to running? Well, you can’t control the weather, you can’t control the mud or the rocks or roots. You can’t control the icy patches in the spring or the driving wind. But there is one thing that you can control.
Your attitude.
I’m not saying you need to have a GREAT attitude. I mean, come on, we’re all facing various levels of stress over a new way of life that none of us chose. Some of us are out of work, some of us have to work while finding a way to keep our littles safe, some of us (me) are now at home with six other humans who must be fed three meals a day every day (because where else are they going to eat?). How do we deal with all of these feelings?
So far, these are the things that help me:
Name it.
Last fall I ran a 50k with friends. One of them called out, “we have ten miles to go.” To which I replied, “I’m going to cry now.” I was tired (duh) and feeling a little sorry for myself (even though I chose to do this). What helped: everyone acknowledging that this was hard and, I didn’t actually cry. I just had to say it out loud and move on. So, sometimes, you just have to name your present circumstance, say how you feel at that moment and then… move on. Don’t STAY in that.
Be in the Present.
Ultras take hours and hours, BUT, they don’t last forever. Nothing ever lasts forever but your mind is tricking you into thinking it will. Wondering when life will be back to normal again? Me too. But instead of looking into the abyss of the unknown future, shrink it down. Focus on right now. In my yoga teacher training we were taught to say, “Right now I feel….” Feelings can and do change all of the time, but all you have to do is focus on right now. I also like what Elizabeth Gilbert said (I do not know why she’s upside down! Sorry!):
Get support.
At ultra races there are aid stations. At these stations there are people who look you over, make sure that you are physically okay and ask you what you need. At every aid station I take whatever my body is asking for at that moment. Sometimes it’s a banana, sometimes it’s gummy bears. Drink plenty of water, eat nutritious food, get fresh air and exercise every day and get some sleep. Ask for emotional support when you need it, call your doctor if you are struggling and need medication. There is no shame in asking for what you need. Now, more than ever it is essential that we do what we need to do to stay healthy.
Lighten up.
Break up the monotony with silly memes, a dance-off, whatever it takes. My daughter is great at this as she doesn’t know what is going on but she sure loves having so many people in the house to play with! I Face time with my friends, my kid in the military and my sister often. We talk about what’s hard but we make lots of jokes too.
Support others around you.
Look around for ways that you can help others. In races that means I talk to someone that is struggling as I’m passing them. Right now I’m looking for local businesses that need support. I’m calling friends who may feel isolated with littles at home and making a few donations to organizations that will support those hurt the most by these present circumstances. By looking outward rather than inward, I find that I’m mentally in a much more positive space.
Don’t let negativity from others get to you.
I will talk to other runners and give them a pick-me-up but I once had a man complain to me about the roots and rocks… on a trail. Ummm, no…. I sped up my pace and lost him as fast as I could. Maybe this means that you look at social media and the news less if it’s making you anxious. Maybe this means you shouldn’t talk to certain family members or friends as frequently if you feel worse after talking to them. Notice how you feel in certain interactions and make adjustments as necesary.
What can I learn from this experience?
By re-framing our experience we can work towards an understanding of what we are all capable of, and a new perspective when we are on the other side of all of this. In every race, every hard experience I have learned something new. We only grow when we are under pressure. So far I’ve learned a new appreciation for slowing down and a new card game. I really want to know, what are all of you learning in all of this?
