“That must be tough.” This is typically the first thing people say to me when they find out my son’s birthday is in December. They want to know how we handle all the birthday and Christmas gift giving, and how we keep the two occasions separate. Noah’s birthday is early in the month, so keeping them separate isn’t too much of an issue. (Although there’s no better guy to share your birthday with than Jesus, in my opinion.) The gift giving however, is another thing.
I try my best to make the holidays about others and not about ourselves, and especially not about stuff. Growing up, my parents struggled to make ends meet and provide for their large family. I am the youngest (by six years) of six kids; three boys and four girls. I remember hearing stories from my older siblings about how they went hungry to make sure the younger kids had enough to eat. We shopped at second-hand stores long before the term “vintage” became a popular fashion trend. I grew up to appreciate what we did have and not feel bad about what we didn’t have.
Holidays, especially Christmas, were difficult on my parents, financially and emotionally. I know they wanted to give us everything, but times were tough. If it weren’t for organizations like Santa’s Workshop and Toys for Tots, we wouldn’t have had any gifts under our tree when I was very young. It took a lot for my parents to accept help, but they did it for us.
As I got older, my parents became more financially stable. A few of the older kids had moved out to start families of their own, and we no longer needed help for Christmas gifts. Instead of moving on and forgetting about that time in our lives, my parents joined Santa’s Workshop on the giving end. My parents, closest sister and I volunteered our time to help organize donations, and for years on Christmas Eve we all went out to deliver presents to families around town. Even though I was young, I still clearly remember the looks in the eyes of parents as they opened their doors to receive packages for their children. I looked at my parents and saw the recognition in their eyes, and I knew it was the same look they once had when they received gifts for us.
My parents never forgot where they came from, and neither have I. For us, Christmas has always been more about giving than receiving, and that’s something I want to be sure to pass along to my son. To me, that is our family tradition. So how do I keep that focus when Noah is surrounded by the idea of birthday AND Christmas presents so close together?
My husband and I decided to blend one aspect of both events together. Every year on Noah’s birthday, we go out to the store and he picks out at least one item to donate to Toys for Tots. We ask him to choose a toy he likes and explain to him that he’ll be giving it to another child for a Christmas present because not every family can afford to buy toys for their kids. We do this to help teach my son to think of others, but also to honor my parents.
Our tradition takes on an even greater meaning for me this year as my mom passed away in late October. This will be my first Christmas without her, and I have yet to fully grasp the fact that she’s gone. But I know she is proud of our tradition, and I am proud of her for the life she lived and the gifts she bestowed upon our family.
