Disclaimer: Look out! I am on my soap box with this blog.
Here’s my little PSA reminding parents to be sensitive to other mamas and papas.
Each of my kids have gifts and areas where they excel. One didn’t need to study and did well academically (but would often lose their backpack). Another is so personable and charming that people just smile when they see this kid coming. One of them is super responsible, organized, and people trust this young person to get things done (and to do them well). This same child does not love traditional school. Good student, decent grades, but they don’t love school — and guess what? IT’S OK.
I would often get frustrated because this particular child’s skill set wasn’t really celebrated at school. I have seen high school students feel a little badly about themselves if they weren’t in the National Honor Society, taking Advanced Placement classes, etc. [Side note: some of these “smarty pants” have trouble forming a sentence or looking me in the eye when trying to articulate a verbal thought. And, remember – no judgement on my end because I also have a smarty pants.] My child may not have been pulling straight As, but was the first person teachers, coaches, and classmates/team mates turned to when something needed planned or done at school.
When my super organized/responsible child was contemplating what to do after high school — I was shocked when I was only ever asked “where is [blank] going to college?”
Well…what if they decided to take another path? When I actually said, “[Blank] may not go to college” — I was met with dumbfounded stares, looks of shock, and no response.
Not everyone is meant to go to a 4 year college. We need people in the trades, artists, soldiers, firemen, police officers, etc.! Honestly, where would most of us be without our trusted hair stylist?
Like many families in the greater Madison area this year we had some water damage in our house. We had to have a plumber and various other contractors come to our home. They did a great job – but CHA-CHING. It wasn’t cheap. Their hourly rate is HIGH. Their skills are needed and in demand.
My amazing, uber-responsible, mature-for-their-age child did go to a 4 year college. For a semester. It wasn’t for them. When I told people my child was transferring to Madison College (WHICH IS AN AMAZING INSTITUTION), and moving home I literally had someone gently take my arm and say, “I’m so sorry.” I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t say my child was dying. (Is my frustration from this past experience still palpable?)
Fast forward two years and this same child found their path, is employed, has their own apartment and is rocking life.
Now it’s funny that other parents are a little jealous of this kiddo of mine. These parents are now seeing their own child wrapping up their 4 year degree in the next couple years and saying, “What are they going to do now?” They want them employed and not moving into their basement.
I want to celebrate each of my children and their amazing talents — in and/or out of the classroom. And honestly, I want to do the same for YOUR children, too.
So, here’s my charge to fellow parents: let’s be sensitive to one another. Don’t assume anything or that a child is doing or should be doing what your child is doing. Instead of, “What soccer team is your son on?” — try saying, “What are your daughter’s interest?”And when you are chatting up a high school student or their parents, please say, “What are your (or your student’s) plans after graduation?”
As a mom of three children with different interests and skill sets — I thank you.
