Words matter. What words we choose matter, especially when it comes to difficult times. There are whole fields of study in psychology and other disciplines that focus on how word choice can change people’s emotional response, voting patterns, and behaviors. So, I’m working, in my own family, on being intentional with the words I choose as I relate to this new world we are living in.
One change that many psychologists are arguing for, and that I agree with, is changing from calling this “social distancing” to calling it physical distancing. As everyone knows, the last thing we want people to do during times of stress is to keep away from social relationships, and social distancing sounds like we are trying to end friendships.
The term “physical distancing” is really much more accurate and provides a clearer expectation about what we are being asked to do. We are being asked to physically distance from friends and family members, not limit our social interactions. It is clear from social media that people are finding new, inventive, and creative ways to remain socially connected while being physically distant from each other.
In our own family we have felt the pain of not having our school friends and time in the regular classrooms. We’ve worked to acknowledge when we feel this sadness, and find ways to interact with people in a safe way. We’ve allowed the kids to start up a messaging account that allows them to call friends and video chat and play games with their friends. This has been helpful because they are able to get some sense of connection to kids their own age.
On the plus side, physical distancing has made us more intentional about being connected to our friends and family members. We have some family members that we would only call on rare occasions, but now that we know they are physically isolated, we are making the intentional effort to call them for a video chat several times a week. It has been fun to reconnect with some of these relatives that we love to talk to.
Finally, each day we recognize that we are thankful for this time we get to have together. Yes, it’s stressful when both my partner and I have full time jobs we are trying to do at home, while we are trying to educate and guide our children, but we have been focusing on the fun things we get to do. Everyday we point out how much we love spending time together. We tell the kids we love hanging out with them and cooking with them and reading with them. Am I ready for them to go to bed so I can have some adult time? For sure, but we try to use the language of thankfulness with the kids so that we can help them think of this time as a fun family time together.
I’m hoping that by the end of this, the kids will remember this as a time where we got to spend time together cuddling, playing basketball in the driveway, and baking new things in the kitchen. Using words of thankfulness can help us though these odd and stressful times.
