Can anyone relate to a crazy day with their children? Here is a tongue-in-cheek letter I wrote (but never sent!) after one of my days with my lively girls.
Dear Washing Machine Repair Man,
First of all, thank you so much for “repairing” my washing machine that was apparently just out of balance. Who knew it was only leaning too far forward. We are self proclaimed super geniuses but we will now be rethinking that.
Thank you also for taking the time to talk to my three-year-old who has never met a stranger and will talk to and ask questions from anyone. You were very sweet to her.
But now for a few apologies.
I hope I didn’t make you feel too awkward as I sat nursing my baby under a blanket on my couch once you came upstairs after “fixing” my washing machine by simply balancing it. You certainly didn’t appear to be bothered by me just sitting there nursing as you took plenty of time to describe all the steps you took to find out my washer was out of balance and all that you did to hook it up to a computer to find out it’s washing history. And once I finished nursing and discreetly put myself back together to get off the couch to sign the repair sheet, you were very unfazed by the fact that my nursing pad was poking through my shirt in a quite odd and noticeable fashion. Sorry about that!
I would also like to apologize that the entire time you were giving your well prepared rundown of washer facts, my six-year-old was asking me to read a book to her. I know that words were coming directly out of your mouth aimed at my ears and we were conversing. But for some reason my six-year-old was apparently not aware that there was a bearded man, around six feet tall, not native to our household, who was speaking in a voice we never hear, standing right in our living room. She was oblivious to you and your many words about washing machine lingo. Sorry about that!
And finally, I would like to apologize about that talkative three-year-old I mentioned earlier in the letter. I am so sorry that at least one dozen times (literally) she yelled from the open bathroom door, only feet from us, that she needed me to “wipe her booty!” I’m sorry she repeated it that in a very loud voice over and over. Obviously, as stated previously, I was preoccupied because of the baby attached to my boob, the six-year-old asking me to read her a book, and most importantly hearing all the amazing facts about Whirlpool washing machines and how to properly use them. It sure is hard to break away from so much to “wipe a booty.” Aren’t you thankful my six-year-old stopped asking me to read a book and offered to “wipe the booty” of my three-year-old? I sure am. Sorry about that!
But you took it all in stride. You were so nice to be so calm and sweet through all of this. So thank you again. And thanks for balancing my washing machine. I will start another load of laundry after doing a few “other things.”