As many people are making resolutions and goals for this new year, I instead started to reflect. I decided to start making a list of life lessons I want to pass on to my daughters. Granted my girls are currently super young and we’re working on learning colors at the moment. I still wanted to write down some lessons I wish I would have learned sooner in life. To be honest, there are a few pieces of sage advice on this list I continue to struggle with.
Clearly, this list isn’t all-encompassing but I thought it would be better to start with just a few items in order to not overwhelm. My hope is that by writing this “wisdom” down my children will be more receptive to it when they are older. Everyone knows that most pre-teens and teenagers don’t always listen to their parents. I myself rolled my eyes during every serious conversation my parents tried to have with me at that age. If I had read the information they were trying to relay I might have been more welcoming to the guidance they were trying to impart.
Dear Daughters,
I want you to be better. A better person than I was at your age, a better woman than I am now.
Parents often want a better life for their children than the one they had. I want to better your lives by passing on this knowledge in hopes that you won’t struggle with some of the situations I found myself in over the years.
This isn’t lame “go dance in the rain” advice – I’m not dying. I think it is practical knowledge all women should learn.
# 1- Be Safe
Everyone makes stupid decisions. Please don’t make a dumb decision that will have life-long consequences. There are so many preventable accidents and deaths.
Don’t ever text and drive or be in a car with someone who does. Never, ever drink and drive or get in a car with someone who has been.
Drinking alcohol could be an entire topic unto itself – especially in Wisconsin. Don’t try to keep up with others. It is going to take a while to understand your own tolerance level and even that will change depending on circumstances.
You may think it’s cheesy but, “Better safe than sorry!” is not a bad mantra to have.
Don’t get me started on drugs.
#2 – Brush It Off
Dwelling on something embarrassing you did will not make it any better. Instead, try to laugh it off. Most likely no one will remember. That is unless your best friend makes it your nickname and it stays with you forever.
#3 – Sleep On It
You live in a time where you can respond or react immediately and publicly at any given time of day. When you feel really upset about something it never hurts to wait to respond. Give yourself time to gather your thoughts and reply in a way that is logical versus emotional. Remember that anything you do can be filmed, recorded, and/or saved which could come back to haunt you in the future.
#4 – Tell Those Mean Girls Where They Can Stick It
But in a smart, sophisticated, and classy way. Don’t let people get away with things they shouldn’t.
#5 – Don’t Be A Mean Girl
If you’ve inherited your mother’s chronic condition of foot-in-mouth disease you are going to unintentionally hurt some people’s feelings. Try to watch what you say. Take a beat and think before you open your mouth. Sometimes not saying anything is the best choice.
# 6 – Speak Up in Relationships
If you don’t like how someone is acting or treating you – speak up! Nothing is going to change unless you say something. The person with whom you have a problem may not have any idea that something is bugging you. No one is a mind reader.
#7 – Learn People’s Names
I am still terrible at this life skill. Is it because I’m lazy? Is it because I don’t think I will ever see the person again? You will go much further in life if you take a sincere interest in people and have the decency to try and remember their name.
#8 – Make Better Financial Decisions
It is hard to break bad habits. As a teen, I was constantly buying new clothes, $5 coffee drinks at Starbucks, and going out to movies. As I grew up I realized how much more I could have been doing with that money. Save your money for things that actually matter to you.
Skip the frappuccino so you can travel more. Don’t buy a shirt for the sake of shopping. Save up so you can put more money down on a home. This might not seem like very fun advice but practicing good spending/saving habits now will be worthwhile. Trust me, your future self with thank you.
#9 – Choose Flattering Clothes/Many Trends are Worth Skipping
You are pale, like your mom, wearing the color beige doesn’t work for us. Empire-waisted dresses and shirts will make you appear pregnant. Just because something looks great on the mannequin/model/your friend doesn’t mean it will look good on you. Figuring out your body type and color season will help you build a wardrobe you will actually feel good about wearing.
Wear sizes that fit!!
I was never one to hop on the bandwagon when it comes to fashion trends, thank goodness. Gauchos anyone? Why would you want to look shorter? Gray hair trend – what? Only go with a trend if it works for you and your style.
#10 – Take Care of Your Skin
As a sun-worshipper, I haven’t always been kind to my skin. Wear sunscreen! Drink lots of water and moisturize. The wrinkles will come eventually, you don’t want to invite them any sooner.
At your age, if you only grasp a few concepts on this list you will have done better than me. I hope you have found this information helpful and useful.
Love,
Mom
P.S. I have tons more unsolicited advice whenever you’re ready.
