Getting Through the Darkness of Unemployment

The day has come that I never hoped or dreamed for. The day my husband lost his job. I have watched others go through this, and it was one of those situations where I responded with a loving “I’m sorry”, and then quickly thank God that it wasn’t me.

Well today is the day. It is me.

See, here is the worst part. How do I support my spouse and help him move forward when all I want to do is scream and cry myself? Well, that’s the first thing I did. I got scared. I am scared. But then I had the courage to reach out to a couple girlfriends and they reassured me that we would be ok. We are ready for this. This is the lesson we are meant to learn in order to achieve the life we dream about.

It still doesn’t make this painful and uncertain period go away. I see myself dip in and out of the sadness, but the scariness goes away every time I think and dream about what could be on the other side of this.

Here is what I have learned so far:

Find the Blessings

This one is challenging, but by far the most important. Everything in life is happening for us, not to us, so how can I see the blessing in the opportunity? Perhaps this will catapult us into a new direction that will result in everything in our life being better. Or maybe my spouse was actually quite miserable at that job, and would have never left simply because he was comfortable and brought home a consistent paycheck. How does this blessing open up new possibilities and directions for my family?

Assess What Really Matters

This situation has really helped me stop and assess how grateful I am for the small things in life. Although money is what pays the bills, I have been blessed to stop and realize that I have a beautiful, loving family, and both my kids and my spouse and I are healthy. We have a roof over our heads, food to eat, and are thankfully surrounded by supportive family that are willing to help in any way possible. Things are actually not that bad. I have chosen to surround myself with loving and supportive people, which in turn, keeps my spirits up.

Money is an Energy, Just Like Everything Else

I realized that I was relying too much on money as a safety net. As long as we had money in the bank, I felt safe. Well, the reality of the situation is, nothing is guaranteed in life, even if we have millions of dollars. I was living in a lack mindset. Although this was something I was well aware of, it is now being amplified for me to focus on and choose differently. We live in abundance, but we must choose to see it. This is not something I fixed overnight, I am still working on this. Money is an energy though, so if I want more of it, I must focus on abundance, not lack. I am also choosing to love money, rather than fear it. Money can do wonderful things, especially when good people get ahold of it.

What Lesson am I Meant to Learn From This?

This can be applied to all the previous tips, but it’s an opportunity to think about what I truly want from life and if I was heading in the right direction previously. Most likely this jolt in our routine and “safety” is a result of us knowing and dreaming of something better out of life. It could be a lesson on faith. To truly trust the universe that it will take care of us and deliver to us, as long as we do the work to create it. It could be a lesson in trusting ourselves and our capabilities. My husband has been thinking about creating his own company and he was far too comfortable where he was at to ever test it out. Lastly, maybe this is a lesson in control. Control is a lesson I am constantly tested with. We cannot control several things in our life, and this is one of them. We ask, we surrender, and we release control. The Universe delivers when it wants and when the timing is perfect. We can’t possibly know everything, or when the timing is convenient, but we can trust that the Universe knows.

As I write this, my family and I are in the middle of this all. I am constantly revisiting all the ideas above, daily. This is not something that goes away quickly, nor is it something I will accomplish and then stop. This is a daily practice, just like all my other daily rituals. The key is knowing I have the tools to get through the darkness so the light can come a little “easier”. After all, we have to experience the darkness in order to truly appreciate the light.

Regina lived most of her adult life in California while pursuing her dream of being a working actress. When life blessed her with being a mother, her and her husband, Will, decided it was time to return to the Midwest, where both of them grew up. Regina returned to her home state of Wisconsin and has since added a second daughter, and a son, to her family. She is extremely passionate about living a balanced lifestyle, which includes nutritious eating, meditation, fitness, and wine. A recovering perfectionist, Regina now focuses on progress over perfection and is working on being more compassionate to herself, and vows to have self-care be a part of her daily life. She also loves to read, listen to music & podcasts, and experiment with baking. Regina lives in Verona with her husband and three children. You can follow her further on her journey at (@moveyourroots on Instagram).


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