We see each other at the park, we say hi.
We see each other at events, we quickly catch up.
I ask you how you’re doing, and you say, “Doing good. Busy. The usual. Life is crazy. Isn’t the weather nice?”
We meet up for coffee, we chat. We talk about the surface-level things. How the kids are. How the marriage is. How the days go so quickly and it’s already half-way through the year.
What we don’t talk about, though, is the real stuff. We don’t talk about what dreams we have, if any. We don’t talk about the moments where we break down and cry because sometimes, it just feels like too much to bear. We don’t talk about the moments we scream at our kids because we are so frustrated that they won’t listen, and then we beat ourselves up for having a “human moment”.
We don’t talk about what really drives us; what lights us up, and what we dream to contribute to the world. We don’t talk about what we believe in, what deep down if feels like to be a mother. We don’t talk about this. Why?
I have a deep desire to have this connection with you. I want to see you in your raw, vulnerable state. I want to recognize your soul and chat with her. I want to ask you, Deep down, what do you desire? Is it this you dreamt of? What do you yearn for? What do you feel bubbling up inside of you? Do you feel that at all?
I want to ask these things.
I wanna be real with you, mama.
Life is so precious, and so incredible. It can be joyous to the point our hearts could explode, and then deeply dirty, from one second to the next. It can be incredibly happy, where I am cutting up food and prepping for dinner, jamming to my favorite music, and then the kids walk in and whine for something for the 100th time and it instantly kills my vibe. Yes, life is like this.
Yes, I cry when it feels like too much. Yes, I scream when I just want to escape. Yes, I feel those moments too. And I feel the moment where I cry and realize this isn’t at all what I thought motherhood was because it’s all too overwhelming and I wasn’t told the truth before I had kids. It’s not all blissful and roses. It’s not all “super rewarding”. It’s hard. It’s revealing. It’s a reflection of what work you need to do on yourself, and sometimes, I don’t want to see that reflection. Sometimes, I just want to be alone and not see the truth.
So mama, let’s talk about the real things. Let’s talk about our fears, our dreams, our moments where we think we can’t do this any longer and what gets us out of those holes. Let’s talk about why we feel this way. Let’s talk about how we can support each other. How can we help each other through these moments, and how can we feel safe to do so? How can we see each other, hear each other, and open ourselves up to each other so we do this without fear?