Life in the NICU

On March 16^th, 2014 my life completely changed. I went from being a mom of one to a mom of three. I also became a NICU mama. I gave birth to my twins at 30 weeks and 2 days gestation. Completely unanticipated. My labor and delivery was very short – we arrived at the ER at 4:35am and Twin A was born at 5:02am, followed by Twin B 18 short long minutes later. You can read about my completely unexpected and emergent birth story here!

After spending 7 weeks in the Meriter NICU our babies are finally home with us. It was a life-changing, eye-opening experience. We watched our fragile, delicate 3 pound babies flourish into healthy, strong 6 and 7 pound babies (all in just seven weeks!) Every NICU journey is unique, so instead of writing about ‘how to survive the NICU’ or talking about how challenging it can be or offering unsolicited advice, I am going to share a few simple (but constructive) things that helped me cope throughout our stay.

SET REALISTIC EXPECATIONS

I had no idea what it would be like to be a mom to a baby(ies) in the NICU. Each day was something new. Some days my babies would make leaps and bounds – other days they had taken a step back. Very early on I learned how important it is to have realistic expectations and to completely entrust the lives of my babies into the hands of the doctors and nurses who cared for my twins day in and day out. There will be ups and there will be downs (I learned to be thankful for each and every one of the ‘ups’).

ACCEPT HELP

From the beginning we were told that we could expect to be discharged some time around my gestational due date. At the time that sounded like an eternity, but the days passed by and like anything else in life it will someday just seem like a blip on the radar. Our friends and family were amazing… offering to watch our 20 month old so we could have some relaxing and uninterrupted time with the babies. They cooked us meals so we wouldn’t have to worry about what was for dinner. They offered emotional support so that we knew we weren’t in this alone. They visited our babies in the hospital and showered them with love. I learned how to say ‘YES’ when friends asked if they could help (something I haven’t always been so good about!).

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, TOO

Immediately after my babies were born, I didn’t want to leave their sides. Yes, they needed me… but in a different way. I spent countless hours by their bedside. My car could probably drive to Meriter on auto-pilot! I pumped milk for them around the clock and I was with them as much as I could be, while still trying to keep some normalcy at home. That being said, during their stay I enjoyed a girls night out with my close friends, I had a date night with my husband, I took my toddler to play dates and I desperately tried to keep things as ‘normal’ as I could. I always felt somewhat desolate when I had to say good-bye to my babies for the night. There was guilt when I wasn’t with them. But I am so grateful that I was able to continue to do a few things for myself, for my husband, for my toddler. Taking care of myself makes me a better mom and a better wife.

SCHEDULE A NICU NEWBORN PHOTO-SHOOT WITH TINY FOOTPRINTS

The Tiny Footprints Project is a FREE and incredible service available to all families who have a baby(ies) in the NICU! It is a way to preserve both the stress-filled AND awe-inspiring moments of what life is like in the NICU. We were SO lucky to have K Gardner Photography capture photos of our sweet babies and our family. The Tiny Footprints Project is a nationwide non-profit – such an amazing opportunity!

I never would have chosen to give birth at 30 weeks. I would have much rather gained another 10 or 15 or 25… heck even 50 pounds… I would have preferred bed rest… I would have chosen stretch marks, discomfort, restless nights, you name it. But there was no choice in the matter so instead I chose to make the most of the hand that was dealt and to be so incredibly thankful for the fact that my babies will be okay. Yes… things could have been easier, but they could have been a whole heck of a lot worse. So today I choose to be thankful and I wouldn’t change a thing.