I Am NOT Going To Get Up Today
Please let me be.
Please go away.
I am NOT going to get up today!
The baby can cry.
The kids can fight.
The sound machine is on.
Ignore, I might.
Today’s the day to keep out the light.
I don’t care if my husband is getting up
To head into work.
I’m the parent who ISN’T getting up.
The stay-at-home perk.
All the other moms are getting up.
And that’s okay with me.
Let them get up and make breakfast
…or greet their kids with glee.
Let the moms get up for school drop off
….and daycare.
I don’t care.
Let the moms get up for dirty diapers.
Let the moms get up for tantrums about to burst.
Let them get up for Daniel Tiger, Bob the Builder,
And for Sofia The First.
Let the moms get up to feed the baby
And get spit up on their shirt.
But not me.
It’s not going to work.
I’ve never been so sleepy
Since before we had kids.
You can make your own breakfast.
I’m closing my eyelids.
No child will get me up,
No matter what he does.
Today’s my day for woozy-snoozy zizz-zizz zizz zazz zuzz.
You can whine really loud.
You can root for the breast.
You can give it your all, your very best.
But you’re wasting your time.
So go ask dad!!
Hurry before I really get mad!!
In this bed is where I’m going to stay.
I deserve to lay for four whole days.
Sleep deprivation makes me cray.
Please don’t try to wake me.
Don’t scream and yowl and yelp.
Don’t send in dogs and roosters,
Or call police for help..
Please keep it out of the papers,
Or from getting out over town.
I’m still a loving mother..
Don’t you dare write all this down.
So. In case you hire a big brass band,
Or call the United States Marines,
I’m getting up out of this dream land,
Because a stay-at-home mom never sleeps.
I’ll make the eggs.
