I mean that in the nicest possible way, I really do. I know we’re all trying for (also see: stressing about) that ideal balance of things. It also just so happens that I’ve been thinking a lot lately about going to yoga (please note, I’ve not been actually going to yoga – more on that in a moment) and breathing and balancing. In all those deep thoughts, I realized that even the most thoughtful, accomplished yogis have to strike that perfect alignment of strength, grace, breath, focus and poise to balance…and not fall flat on their faces.
Such is life in my world. Recently, I adjusted one thing (my day job, yay!) thinking that would better align that ever-present notion of work-life balance being the MOST IMPORTANT THING. Now don’t get me wrong, this one major adjustment certainly has helped with balancing life as a working twin mama, but it was not the only factor contributing to my stress about balancing! This particular adjustment of work felt like my breath – the thing I do all day to keep all the other things going. But again, that’s just one, albeit major, part of the balance equation. Now that’s going well and freeing up some space/time in my brain for that whole balancing scenario, however it’s just not quite balanced yet.
“Well, what else can be adjusted?” I asked myself as I compiled a mental list of adjustments. After a minute (or a few) more, it hit me. Like the scene in The Labrynth when Jennifer Connelly says, “You have no power over me,” to David Bowie’s Goblin King character, thus shattering all his glass balls in the air. It hit me.
The real game-changer I’m constantly striving for is the art of focusing on one thing. Not so easy to do, I know. Maybe that’s why I’m scared to get back into yoga after I had my babies because I’ll likely be so un-present, so scatter-brained with work and life to-dos racing through my head that I’ll fall flat on my face. No matter how balanced you are, no matter your breath control, or any other adjustment you can make, if you lose that focus, that presence of mind to the situation you’re in…your pose is over before it even begins.
What I’m saying here is that there is NO SUCH THING AS BALANCE, at least not as a sustainable solution to all life throws at you. You’re going to fall flat and that’s okay! You can also hold that perfect balance for a fleeting moment when you put your mind to it. I’m saying that FOCUS AND BEING PRESENT in our moments both at work and outside of work are what we should try for instead of putting so much pressure on ourselves to achieve this figment of balance that only happens so often. Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could just focus on being present? So that’s what I’m going to try. I’m going to let myself acknowledge all the other things on my lists, and then re-center myself on the moment I’m in at home and at work. I’m going to sing, snuggle and make silly faces with my twinners. I’m going to make dinner with my hubs and not check my email. I’m going to grab breakfast with an old friend and all our babies. I’m going to launch an awesome website at work. I’m going to call my grandmas and ask them about their lives. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll get to that yoga class soon and focus on me for an hour.