My life forever changed the day that I learned my husband and I were expecting twins. It was not part of our plan and turned our worlds upside down for a brief moment while it all sank in. Our oldest daughter was just 19 months old when I went into premature labor. I never would have guessed that twins would become part of our family’s ‘story’ – I never dreamed that something so seemingly terrifying could make my heart so full. It’s exhausting, demanding, overwhelming, amazing and wonderful all at once.
After my oldest daughter was born, I wrote a post entitled ’15 Things You Learn After You Give Birth’, today I’m going a step further and sharing ’15 Things You Learn After You Give Birth to Twins’.
- You instantly become envious of moms who are lucky enough to sport a mini-van! Yup, that’s right – you will WANT a mini-van.
- There’s really no point in trying to leave the house without spit up or other bodily fluids covering your clothing. Don’t get me wrong, I still shower and get dressed every day… but for what? Spit up no longer fazes me!
- They will often not be referred to as individuals but as ‘the twins’. This is not great for individualization and will start to drive you crazy. Don’t let it – almost everyone will say it. So unless you specifically request them to stop, it will continue. And if they have a sibling, be sure to be extra intentional about including the sibling. A lot of times strangers will gravitate to make over the ‘twins’ but try to keep the singleton included (same for when making plans and play dates… don’t leave the singleton sibling out!)
- I hear that some day I will get to sleep again. And by sleep, I mean all night. Ah, all night long – sounds like a dream! But don’t worry, you will somehow be able to survive (and thrive!) with very little sleep!
- Don’t expect to go anywhere without someone stopping you to ask if they are twins. People will come out of nowhere to ask you this.
- You will then be asked, ‘Are they identical?’ (For me I just stare blankly because – NO – boy/girl twins CAN’T be identical). Followed by ‘Were they a surprise?’ (Obviously…) Followed by ‘Are they natural?’ (What does this even mean?) Followed by ‘Do twins run in your family?’ (Which when coming from a stranger this seems like a transparent attempt to find out if we struggled with infertility!)
- Getting everyone changed, fed, bathed and clothed is a major accomplishment and deserves a reward. You will literally celebrate the things that used to seem so simple!
- You will quickly learn not to compare milestones – one might roll over first, while the other is the first to sit up. One may walk while the other crawls around talking. It doesn’t matter – don’t compare!
- When diapers go on sale, stock up! Whenever Cartwheel has our brand of diapers, we buy in bulk! Don’t worry – you can never have too many. You will use them ALL!
- If one baby gets sick, immediately expose the other. It is inevitable and the only thing worse than having two sick babies is having the sick baby get better right as the other baby gets sick.
- As long as you are using bottles (whether breast milk or formula), the dishwasher will likely be running for at least a year straight.
- Same is true for the washing machine.
- Everyone knows a twin and you will hear about it. “My cousin’s neighbor is a twin.” (Very interesting.)
- It’s not a competition – everyone will agree that whether you have one child or 5 children, raising kids is hard work. Don’t look down on parents of singletons. But when someone tells you that you have your hands full, remind them that your heart is also full.
- Twins mean twice the smiles, twice the laughs, twice the love.
Shortly after my babies came home from the hospital, I was still running on empty. I was feeling exhausted and spread thin. I was at an ice cream shop on State Street with all three kids and a perfect stranger looked at my newborns and said ‘you are SO lucky.’ At the time, my toddler was having a major meltdown and ice cream was the only way to get her to calm down (yes, I was rewarding terrible behavior). I thought the woman must be joking – but I looked at her and she repeated – ‘you are so lucky.’ She meant it. Six months later I know she genuinely felt that I was lucky and I now agree with her. I AM lucky. Blessed beyond measure and we have such a bright future to look forward to. So if you see a twin mama out and about, looking frazzled, remind her how lucky she is… she will thank you later!
You may also enjoy my post: One Year With Twins!
12 & 13 are my faces. I am resigned to the fact that I will never be done with laundry.
Loved this post. #6. I too have b/g twins. I was even asked if they would BECOME identical. My twins are 22 m older than my son. Life is crazy but it gets SO MUCH BETTER and you’ll look ate the past wondering where the time went.
My daughter and her boyfriend have a blended family, her three and his four, so they now have seven. His kids include a set of girl twins. and all the kids keep them busy. I am finding that even though they were born one right after another, and sleep all curled together, they have very different personalities. Love all my grands but yes people do tend to notice the twins where ever they go, and the two older girls roll their eyes. 🙂
it was eight months before it first occurred that maybe I had been blessed by my twins, since they were babies four and five! Plus I had prayed for a girl that time and God sent me two more boys! Ah well, for two weeks after the first ultrasound, one was a girl.
Your “twins” are so cute Alisa! Looking forward to meeting you!
Love this! #6 and #8 for sure 🙂 And I can tell you, I’m 4 1/2 years into the twin journey and it just keeps getting better. Yes, you still get #6 all the time. But you will sleep again – all night. And my favorite part is their incredible bond, plus built-in playmates! I’m more of a referee now which is awesome.
mom to 2 sets of twins here 18 months apart. I refer to my younger set as “the boys” all the time and people get it. They know not to group the older twin boy in with “the boys”. Drove me nuts as people would ask if they are ID because not only is the first set b/g but he’s all Italian and she’s all Irish (day glow white & red hair) so my answer always was “except for the penis they are” and keep on walking. Ran into the same issue with “the boys” because there’s another redhead there. The “are they natural” question didn’t bother me as much once people started to follow that up with “how did you deliver them?” Yes they are natural and please remove yourself from my vagina.
YES to all except #4… my 10 mth boys sleep!!!! they do get thrown off once in a while but Im well rested!!!
I’d say the same except my first was 13 months old and my twins went full term. #7 is sooo true, still is and the kids are 4 & 5 years old now! 🙂 If I found out I was pregnant, I’d hope for twins all over again!!! (There’s were many times when twins were actually easier than a single baby!)
I have 15 month old identical twin boys, #4 & #5 for me. I get asked all these questions plus the dreaded “are you done now” I don’t understand why people think that’s an appropriate question . I love being a mom and the twins are my double blessing after losing a baby at 5mos pregnant.
Mom of 14 yr. old b/g twins. In the back of my head I knew I was having twins but it didn’t hit me until I was in recovery after my c-section. I sometimes see them as babies the day they were born. It was hard in the beginning BUT I would never change anything. These kids drive me crazy but I love them with all my heart. They changed my life and I can’t thank them enough.
I love you Chanse and Bailie.
O…PS…I never want(ed) a mini van.