Growing up I always remember my mom was the one who knew were everything was and where everyone needed to be. She was the schedule keeper, the thing finder, and the party planner. Now, my mom is very organized and seems to enjoy planning things (to a point), and my dad is very disorganized (and always has been), so it sort of made sense.
I got some of my mom’s organizational tendencies, but not to the same level. While I don’t mind most of the party planning and organizing, it does become overwhelming sometimes. I’ve heard many people talk about the emotional labor that often falls on mothers, and I feel it.
When we show up to preschool only to find out that it was pajama day and we had forgotten. I felt way more guilty than I wanted to feel, so I decided to make it so that some of this emotional labor was distributed across our family.
So, what did I do?
1. I put the kids in charge of remembering their own things at a young age. Starting when they were about two and a half or three years old, when there was something that they wanted, I’d tell them it was their job to remember to bring it. Now, did I really expect them to remember it? No, of course not. However, it set in mind the idea that they had responsibilities for their own things. It also helped to alleviate some of the distress when things were forgotten. They were still sad that they didn’t have their beloved object (be it a rock they found at the park or their favorite snuggle-item), but they seemed far less upset when they couldn’t place the blame on someone else.
2. I teach my kids ways to ease the memory load. Want to remember to bring your pajamas to school tomorrow? Lay them out in the bathroom so that you see them when you wake up tomorrow morning. Want to remember to bring your scooter to preschool for wheelie day tomorrow? Let’s put it in the car tonight. My kids got so used to this that they run to place their items in the mud room in the evenings without me even asking sometimes.
3. Enlist my spouse. I’ve always been the more organized of the two of us, but technology is a wonderful thing. We have a shared calendar on our phones, so we both with set up reminders that will set and alarm on both of our phones to remember items. We set it to go off about a half hour before we are scheduled to leave the house so that our phones remind us and buzz before we are overwhelmed with that final push out the door.
4. If all else fails, post it notes on the door to the garage are a great final reminder.
Do we forget things, even with all of these reminders? Of course, but I don’t feel so much pressure to always be the sole one responsible. What tricks do you use to remember all of the things that your kids need?
