I Miss My Mom

My husband and I thought we wanted to raise independent children. I blame him for putting that idea out into the universe.

I’m conflicted to report — I think we did.

And, just like my now 21-year-old daughter, I couldn’t wait to break free from my own parents and strike my own path.

And, when I became a mother I vacillated between thinking I would “do things MY way” (read opposite of my mom) and desperately wanting her input or approval.

If you are like me and some of my pals, we often find ourselves commiserating about the woes of our childhood and ‘kooky mother’ — sometimes with a wink or sometimes with a tear.  

We all know how hard this mom life is — but how often do we think of our own mother as a first-time parent? True confessions: I have never thought of my mom this way.

Being in this new land of the ‘sandwich generation’ where your children are getting older AND your parents are aging is interesting territory.  

My parents did their job. I am independent; and while I am sure I gave them the majority of their grey hairs — I like to think they’re proud of me.  

So, I write this post in hopes that if you are fortunate to still have your mom around — see her in a new light. See her how your child must see you (the good, the bad, and the unshowered).

We are past Mother’s Day now; so how about we give a little extra love to the woman who we call ‘Mom” even when it isn’t a holiday?

Because she may not always be there.  

I write you this not to make you sad, but because I would give just about anything to be complaining to a girlfriend that I needed to clean my house because my mom was coming to visit. My mom passed away unexpectedly a few months ago.

I miss my mom. More than I could ever fathom.

I write this not for your sympathy but to learn from my experience.

I would complain less, and cherish more. I’d take more pictures, I’d let her know how hard a job it is to be a mom and that I truly appreciated all she did.

My mom could really drive me nuts sometimes. But she was the BEST grandmother in the world (my apologies to the other grandmas out there). My children adore their Nana.

 

Best Nana ever to these 3 kids

If you were ever fortunate to attend a high school basketball, volleyball, or swim competition in the last 6 years where one of my kids was competing — you’d probably see her (or rather hear her!) because she was not shy in cheering for my kids or their teammates. [My apologies to the referees in the gyms where she cheered; she didn’t mean to question your judgement so harshly, and so loudly.]

No matter how independent one may be, or how crazy your mother may make you — be sure you treasure the moments and love your mother. I know we would each want the same from our own children for us. 

Alicia is a born and raised Hoosier living in Badger country since 2003. She and her hubby of 20+ years, Dave, love raising their kids in the Midwest and in a college town. Alicia is the mother of a beautiful daughter, Haley, who lives and works in Madison (Mom is hardly jealous at all of her super chic apartment), and two teen age sons: Roark (a college student athlete) and high school student Cooper (who's down to being the sole kiddo living at home with what his siblings call his "elderly roommates" -- IE: Mom and Dad). Alicia likes walking their cockapoo, Laila, reading, being involved with various volunteer activities, and treasures any time her family of 5 can be together. Being a full time wife/mama, along with part time lots o' other things, provides an always entertaining, always interesting, (sometimes stressful) adventure.

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