I know this might sound crazy, but I’m not ready for the safer at home lockdown to be lifted. Don’t get me wrong, I am SO OVER being cooped up at home with my kids. They are driving me nuts. The constant fighting, the bickering, and crying are pushing me to my limits. And yet, if you told me tomorrow we were going to open everything up again, I’d probably have a panic attack. Because I’m scared. I’m afraid that someone in my immediate family might get seriously sick, or worse, from the virus. Unfortunately, I don’t know if there is anything short of a vaccine that will fix this fear.
I’m Worried About My Wife
You see, to me, this pandemic is very personal. My wife works at the hospital as a nurse anesthetist. This means if you get super sick and need to be intubated and placed on a ventilator, my wife is the one who will help you. I know that she’s doing everything in her power to keep herself safe, which in turn will keep us safe, but I don’t trust that everyone else is doing their part.
But Can We Trust Each Other?
Because let’s face the facts. The lockdowns haven’t really been that long in the grand scheme of things. Just short of two months, right? But turn on the TV and you’ll see people all over the world who are convinced the safer at home policies are worse than the virus itself.
So if we wind up with a second surge of cases this fall/winter, do you think these same individuals are going to sign up for another round of shutting everything down again? Because I honestly can’t see it happening. At least not on the scale we need to have to help prevent the spread of the disease. This haunts my nightmares.
I’m Also Worried About My Son…
And then there’s the fact that my son has had respiratory-like issues for a couple of years now. We’re not sure if it’s asthma or reactive airway syndrome or if it’s nothing, but it’s a big enough deal that we’ve had to take him to the ER once. He even sees an Allergist/Asthma specialist every so often just so they can check in on him. So although kids are statistically less likely to get sick from COVID, he’s a potentially high-risk person. Call me paranoid, but I just don’t want to take the risk. I’d rather he drive me bonkers with his antics than risk putting him in harm’s way.
…And Myself
I’m also scared for myself. For the past 5 years, I’ve had regular bouts with pneumonia. This last winter was terrible. I caught something at the end of December that took me 3 months to get rid of. I was seen in 7 different instances ranging from my primary care doctor’s office to urgent care to the ENT clinic. Four rounds of antibiotics, one dose of oral steroids, and many many treatments of inhalational agents, and I finally recovered from the worst illness I’ve ever faced.
Now, did I have COVID? Probably not, but even if I did, there’s not enough evidence that shows a previously infected individual is immune to future infections. In fact, some reports indicate that the healthcare workers who have been the sickest with COVID are the ones who showed signs of having the virus twice.
I’m Just Not Ready
So while I would LOVE for everything to go back to “normal” soon, I’m just not ready. And I don’t know if I will be anytime soon.
