Lessons From My Father

Everyone has a story, and that story defines who you are, who you become and can change your perception on life.

At the age of 12 my family’s world was rocked.  The person who was the strong leader of our house had a diagnosis… Early Onset Alzheimer’s. I was too young to understand when first told that there was no cure and that my daddy had an impending timeline hanging over his head. It wasn’t until I did a research project on the disease that I truly understood that this wasn’t a disease that would preserve our family the way it was… a lot would change. Learning there was a life expectancy of 8 to 10 years shattered my hopes.

My father went from being the vice president of a company to staying home full time. By my high school years he could no longer stay home alone and my role was to pick him up from a senior aged daycare. Although my dad’s memory was slipping away day by day, he still remembered the past. My family would bring up stories about his frat years and anything else that brought on a good laugh.

Then came the day I never wanted, the day my father didn’t know that I was his daughter. It happened when I came to visit him when I was home from college. He now had progressed to needing to be at an assisted living facility. He saw me coming towards him, I could see the twinkle in his eye that my face looked familiar, however, my name and relation was a mystery. From that day on I was a friendly visitor who brought golf magazines and Oreos, who walked circles through the fenced facility with him and was told I should look into dating Tiger Woods.

This wasn’t fair that this happened to my family and I’ve asked the question of why over and over. While growing up I’ve realized so many other people go through battles of their own and struggles that shape their lives. My only advice through my experience is to take the positive outlook.  Even though my father was sick for much of my adolescent I remember the good times we had and cherish those moments.

I can’t wait to share my favorite stories with my daughter. I want her to know all about her grandpa who she was named after.  Here are just a few of the lessons I learned from my father:

Be Grateful

We sometimes get wrapped up in life and forget to be thankful. I am thankful for my supportive family and friends that helped me get through the hardest time in my life.

Be Involved

My father when we were young coached our sports and when he wasn’t coaching he was coming to every game we had. I will always remember him cheering me on from the sidelines. His support helped me continue on with sports and dance throughout high school.

Be Young at Heart

Age shouldn’t stop you from having fun, being goofy, telling jokes. From having a child I realize all the fun I get to have, from coloring to playing on the playground. Never stop having fun.

Be Passionate

Find a hobby, career, sport that you strive to be the best. Even if you are not the best you aspire to be better today than you were yesterday.

Be Strong

As his memory began to weaken, my father still showed his strength. He knew for as long as he could that he needed to be strong for our family.

Be Beautiful

Whether it is singing “You are so Beautiful” in the mirror to yourself, as my father did, love yourself. Don’t just be concerned about your outside appearance, you need to love yourself from the inside, too.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson