Mom duties consuming you? Yep, me too! I can talk until I am blue in the face about the
importance of prioritizing myself, but in reality, this is a hard thing to do. Surprisingly, each time I interact with one of my friends who is also a mother, this seems to be the common theme. Pure exhaustion from the everyday duties of raising the tiny humans = no time for yourself.
I am not sure where in the book of motherhood it was written that I needed to loudly announce each time I needed to use the bathroom to my family. This, however, has become my norm. “Mommy has to go potty now!” to the response with “can I come with you?” It seems almost impossible to get a 5 minute break these days, even if I lock the bathroom door behind me… someone is always needing Mom!
the dreaded mom guilt
If you are anything like me, you are constantly juggling the balance between wanting to be with your children and knowing you need some time away. That dreaded mom guilt that seems to weigh each and every one of us down. From the moment I became a mother, my life became completely focused on their every need. Because I was so in love with being a mother, my dreams and needs became expendable. They have gone on the back-burner which is where they have stayed for the past 4 years.
Lately I have been wondering why so many of us mamas are in the same boat. Why are we constantly trying to be the best we can be at our mommy duties, yet forget about being the best at loving ourselves?!
stepping away from the noise
When I get 5 minutes to step away from the music, the noise, and the chaos of motherhood, my vision is clear. I am focused and remember why I love being a parent and why this is the greatest gift in the world. Stepping away I am reminded of who I am and what I aspire to be. I remember my hobbies and the things I like to do. When I remove myself from the noise I am able to rejuvenate and reset. I am able to think clearly and then prioritize the actual needs of my family rather than feel guilty about not fulfilling someone else’s agenda.
your dreams and your hobbies are not expendable
For me, it took years to remember who I was. Years. I literally had forgotten what I had even enjoyed doing before kids, for years. Although ‘Mom’ is my absolute favorite title, I miss the way I feel when I focus on myself too. I am finally realizing how incredibly crucial this is for me. I am a better mother, a better wife and a better person when I dedicate some time on myself.
the days are long, but the years are short (for you too mama)
So this is me, one tired mom to another, telling you it is okay to step away. It is okay to remove something from your full plate, in order for you to do something for yourself. Be kind to yourself and praise yourself for the many roles you fill every day. Then praise yourself for those jobs you handled like a boss and give yourself some time away.
Remember it is okay to not have it all together. It is just as important to prove worthiness to yourself as it is to your children. You know the saying “the days are long but the years are short”? Well just today I was thinking about how this saying is true, but not only for our children. Sure, they grow up fast, but what about us? You know, I finally realized I am never going to be a young mother again. Today, right now, I am living in my 30s raising my young kids. I too, am never getting this time back in my own life.
invest in yourself
If I have learned anything through parenthood it is that, things change and time does pass. Knowing that time flies by, we can’t give up on our own aspirations and dreams during these stages of motherhood. If we give up on ourselves now, we will be left without hobbies or things that inspire us. Our children will grow and they will leave the house one day, and it will feel even emptier than it did when we raised them. You owe it to yourself to be all of who you are meant to be, today. Lean into the people around you that are in the same situations as you. Remove yourself in order to gain perspective and be okay doing it. Be okay stepping back from the noise, and taking a refreshing breath. That my friend, is not a weakness, but a mere strength!
I hope this resonated with even one person this morning. If you aren’t able to give yourself permission, let me be the one to grant you it. I would love for you to follow along as I share and embrace the everyday chaos and noise of motherhood on my blog www.kaylahaven.com and also share my lifestyle in our brand new build on @kaylahaven_ on IG.