I’d like to invite you for a minute to take a deep breath and imagine you are floating above yourself. You have the vision to see you in your environment and everything that is going on in it. Do you see yourself putting your time and energy in the places and people you value most?
Have you ever thought about what really matters to you? Do you live your life and engage with people in a way that reflects that?
That’s a hard question and an even harder one to realize that maybe we’re not putting what is most important to us high on our priority list.
As mothers and women we’re taught and shown to do-it-all and have good family work-life balance. Most people I know strive for balance, but for me when I think about balance I envision a person carrying all these plates while walking a tight rope struggling not to fall and have everything come crashing down around them. Just the thought of balance makes me think of an unbalanced out of control life.
So in my day when I’m running crazy trying to be and do everything for everyone the last thing I feel is in control or balanced. If I stop and pause long enough to think, does this really matter, and if so how much, everything seems laser focused. What matters? My husband, my kids, my family and the people I come in contact with. That is it.
I have a couple of lenses I filter things through when I’m able to stop long enough to breath and process. I’ll share them with you so you can try them on too.
In 1 year will this matter?
I tell this to my kids all the time and they roll their eyes but it sinks in and it works. Most of the stuff we put our time and energy into doesn’t actually matter that much.
If person X died tomorrow would I be ok with leaving this situation as is? (That sounds so awful but it has helped me in some emotionally charged spots.)
This is good for big and heavy situations. The stakes are high, emotions are high and generally you have the feeling of being wronged or that you are right.
Does it feel right?
This one is good for those that have a hard time saying no. Did you just tighten your chest and hold your breath…if yes, then this one might be for you! You know that feeling where you’re going against what you know is good for you? That one that later builds up resentment, over commitment and exhaustion? How to say no is a whole other post but just being in tune with that feeling is a good first step. If it doesn’t feel right is probably isn’t.
Mom life is hard. Adding more to our plates and balancing others plates makes it even harder. Take some time to breath and gain some focus on what’s really important to you. It can take some work and time to shift and learn new ways but after a while you’ll be a much happier woman and mother if you’re living fully in what is important to you each day!
